A
male
age
36-40,
*amlost117
writes:So my gf and I have been together for 4 and a half years and we love each other very much. I had a lot of trust in her about being with her guy friends. Then one day, while she was in the bathroom, I found some pictures of her with one of her "friend", lying half naked on the bed cuddling. I was completely shocked... This actually started a two months ago. She said she wanted to go to an event that her school organized. I told her not to go. She got frustrated about how I was controlling her. But then, I found out that she went anyways but I pretended not to know, thinking it was alright after all.So back to the story, I kept my cool and try not to be upset after seeing the pics. I asked her to step outside to talk with me. I asked her if she had something going on with that guy. She said no. I asked her again. She answered no again. Then I told her I found the pictures on her computer and that I'm in total shock after seeing those.She started to feel ashamed and cry then. I asked her why did she do it Or if they had done it that night. She told me she did it because she was feeling very upset that I was neglecting her and needed someone to talk to, which I wasn't there for her. She told me one thing led to another. So that night they got a room. But, she told me that after taking their clothes off, she realized it's not the right thing to do. The pictures were there so that it would remind her that she loves me and wouldn't commit such an act again.After a long talk, I chose to forgive her. I knew it would be a hard battle trying to rebuild the trust I had for her but I believed that this relationship shouldn't end this way. I love her too much. Now, it's been 2 months after the incident of find out the pictures. I've made good progress in accepting this happened and try not to let it get to me. However, it seems that I'm more protective of her now. (which is pretty bad, i know) It's gotten to a point that I actually may be pushing her away. It's like a drug, I need to check on her to keep the feeling of insecurity away and have a boost in trust. I don't want to lose her but this feeling of insecurity always seem to creep in. What can I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): I agree with the others, she sounds more like someone who regrets getting caught than someone who regrets what they did.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2011): Who saves a semi naked photo as a momento? A cheating gf that's who! Your gf is lying when she says she keeps this semi naked photo of herself and another guy to remind her that she loves you so much. Talk about blatant lies and you just believe her? Really?
Your gfs excuse is very original!
OP these two went to the trouble of paying for a room for sex. They were alone and (semi ) naked. Who the hell goes through all that trouble only to take out dirty pics and cuddle? Can u see a lying picture forming. You cannot trust anything that comes out of her mouth. You questioned her, she lied, twice. And then she gives you this unbelievable false story and you believe it. I know when I take my clothes off, I mean business. Your gf is untrustworthy and u do not need to be a genius to figure out she had sex with another of her so called guy friend.
Trust, what trust. I won't be surprised if she is still sleeping with him on the sly.
You ask what can you do. You can dump her lying ,cheating ass. You are young, why settle for this person who thinks so little of you. A little tears, emotional torture and you guys get played right to the very end. It is time to walk away and not look back. Or else you will regret it. So you choose.
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, Jen1689 +, writes (16 January 2011):
 You need to LEAVE HER. One: she's not sorry she cheated on you, she's sorry she got caught. And she didn't do it because you weren't paying enough attention to her, she did it because she's a terrible person and had the opportunity to. She lied to you about going out that night for months. And then lied TWICE to your face when you asked her about it. The only reason she told you the truth was because you caught her and she couldn't get out of it. She would STILL be lying to you about it if you hadn't called her out on it. Please don't try to convince yourself otherwise. This girl is trash and not worthy of the effort and energy you're giving her. You will never be able to get rid of the insecurity you have towards her and you're relationship because there's no trust there anymore. She broke it, and chances are that she's still lying to you and that a lot more has gone on than she's admitted to. I know it will be hard, but she's shown you that your relationship is not worth it to her, and so you need to move on and find a girl who values you and the relationship you can give them. Please leave this girl. I'm telling you, things will only get worse...
Take Care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2011): Once a cheater always a cheater. How about you pack ur sh** and move along. Find some one who is actually going to care for you. With time everything will heal and you'll be better then ever. Somewhat.
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A
male
reader, Kilcardy +, writes (15 January 2011):
I don't know that there's much you can do other than stay with the cheater, or leave her and find someone who is worthy. I get a kick out of how your "gf" blamed you for her atrocious behavior. And, if you really believe she did nothing with this guy whom she was lying half naked with...I have a bridge I'd like to sell you. This "thing" is eating at you because you got hosed and you know it, but are afraid to do the right thing -- because it's hard. While it may have been big of you to forgive her, this "thing" will be there for you as long as you remain with her. You will always be looking over your shoulder, wondering whether she's being true to you (and rightly so). Someone once said that when someone shows you who they are, believe them. Your "gf" is a cheater. You can either stay, or you can go. It's up to you.
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