A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need an advice... I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months now. I just turned 29, he is 27. He's American, I am from Europe. When we first started dating, he was wonderful with me. We were spending so much time together (he was always staying at my place) that we decided (it was his idea) to move in together last month.3 months ago we found out that his Mom is very sick. He started to change a little, being kind of more distant and not as sweet, and I thought it was anxiety or stress. Since the day me moved in, 3 weeks ago, he started to reply sporadically to my e-mails, texts and phone calls. I always assume that we will meet at home after work for diner, hanging out, or going out, but it seems that this doesn't even cross his mind. He often goes out after work without letting me know, so it is hard for me to make plans on my own. He wants to go out and works late a lot, he is talking about how much he wants his career to go to the next level and go on business trips. He invites his family over without telling me in the first place. I don't really mind him going out or inviting his family, I mind the fact that he is not telling me before, and he makes me feel like we are roommates, not a couple. I told him that, and he replied that he needs his freedom. But he wasn't like that at all a few months agao... He says that I am pressuring him to do only what I want. It seems to me that he is acting like a teenager and that I am putting together a bed and breakfast for him. It is difficult to talk with him, as he starts yelling and always think he is right (and I heard the exact same thing from all his coworkers, including his boss).I am a control freak?? Does this mean that he is not ready for a relationship?? I am very confused and thinking about just breaking up.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): Hi there,
this kind of behaviour is most inconsiderate and disrespectful, imho. Until a few weeks ago I was in the exact same situation. Since then, the relationship has broken apart and I have moved out. My advice is to give it a little more time, but not very much. People don't change that much. If you don't like living with him now, chances are you are still not going to like it a year from now.
A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (16 April 2008):
 Sounds to me like he has his feet under the table and is taking you for granted. He should have time to himself, but not telling you that he has invited his family, over or is working late is just bloody rude.
I would tell him that if he cant be more conciderate, he can have as much time to himself as he wants, but it wont be under your roof.
Just my opinion.
Good luck.XX
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A
female
reader, love girl  +, writes (16 April 2008):
 hiii
when he said he needed his freedom , he should get it but not like that , he should be thinking about the fact that he is in a relationship right now , its nice to get out but he should pay more attention to you , you're living together that means something , it means that this is going somewhere ,
and the fact that he doesnt listen and he always thinks he's right and you're wrong its not going to stop right there , me and my bf started out like that , i thought that i could handle the screaming but it didnt stop there he became agressive and a conrolling , it might happen to you , in these cuple of days , see the way he is acting and see if you should break up
if you decided to break up with him , do it now before its too late ...
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A
male
reader, binhquangdao +, writes (16 April 2008):
 be there for him dont' break it off he's just going through some trouble times show him you care but dont' be too clingy
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