A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I was just wondering if this has happend to anyone. My bf just got out of jail and we had rough sex, but since then I feel so nauseated and dont knw why.. Plz help..
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male
reader, Silius Sodimus +, writes (22 January 2013):
Lol he got out of prison thats why. On a more serious note as a guy that has happened to me. But I'm aware of why it happens when getting close to orgasm I tend to hold my breath without being aware of it and once I'm done I feel so sick and dizzy. Try to be aware if that's what you are doing to yourself, other than that not quite sure, sex is really like a workout, if your both going hardcore, just like a gym workout you can feel sick due to a build up of lactic acid and over exertion. Hope that helps
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2013): Lol na, its not n std.. He was in the hole the whole time.. Which means he was by himself in a cell.. He is also a big guy.. Lol He was only locked up 3 mths and was tested in there. As I was out it. . I appreciate u helpin me try and figure this all out.. If I would feel better id be ok..
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (1 January 2013):
True 24 hours later is too early to get morning sickness, so i agree it is not that.
But not too early to get a Sexually transmitted disease.
Get it checked out pronto. Your Doctor can give you a blood test to check for it.
Sexually transmitted diseases are rife in jails and men do different things to get by in jail, even if they will not admit it when they get out of jail.
Don't ask if he did anything in jail - sometimes the man has no say in jail and is forced to submit. And is too ashamed to tell their partners when they get out of jail. That though, is how they can pick up a STD and not even realise it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2013): @Abella everything was the same. He smelled bomb n looked good. He wasn't like abusive rough or nothing like that. I loved it! He was all over me from the minute we saw each other. I don't know but just the next day and even now I feel nauseated. Actually, this morning I had a milky discharge. Sorry if it's too much information, but not sure what that means either. I know its way way to early to think pregnancy that's why i'm confused. We're all about rough bomb sex just never felt nauseated before . That's why i'm confused.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (1 January 2013):
Hi
Please keep in mind that even if you enjoyed the rough sex in any way that rough sex can escalate to even rougher sex if the man thinks he has your approval to be even rougher the next time.
Sometimes rough sex can go too far and the woman can end up in hospital with internal injuries.
Just be aware that some rules need to apply, just as a hand signal to tell him to stop if you do become overwhelmed and he is holding you down or restraining you in such a way that you cannot speak.
The Nausea has some valid reason.
It may be psychological. Or alternatively there may be a physical reason. Did the smell of your BF seem different in any way?
Or could you be incubating some sort of bacterial bug than has not fully manifested itself but is developing within you? A check with the Doctor could help confirm that with a blood test.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (1 January 2013):
Going to jail has affected him. He was not with you, instead he was surrounded by many men. The experience may have resulted in many emotions with him. Disbelief that he was in jail, anger that he had found himself there. Resentment that his freedom had been curtailed. And sometimes he may even have worried about what you were doing, while he was in jail. Plus in jail he was surrounded by men, some of whom were misogynistic and spoke about women in disrespectful ways. He most likely missed sex and consoled himself by looking at porn, and listened to other men discussing what they would do (as far as sex) once they left jail. Often the descriptions would be strong on bravado and more akin to porn sex, not tender loving respectful sex.
Jail may have encouraged the view that all women want rough sex.
Then there is the way men in jail are treated, to maintain discipline the inmates are shouted at, ordered around, humiliated, and made to comply - without being allowed to question the decisions. This takes a toll on a person. Jail is meant to deprive a person of their freedom, as punishment for something the person did that society regards as unacceptable. But the process can breed resenrment and anger rhat the inmate cannot express to his jailors (unless he is prepared the repercussions for speaking out)
In a word his attitudes hardened and became less respectful towards women, while he was in jail.
It is not your fault that he went to jail.
He got out of jail and acted impatiently and without respect during sex, and perhaps used you to take out all his pent up resentment that he'd been denied time with you for so long.
He chose to act in a raw rough and brutal way the first opportunity he had o have sex with you agin.
He has no right to use your body to take out all his resentments (including that he's been denied sex for so long, because he's been in jail) on you.
He used brute physical force to impose himself on you sexually. It was power play to remind you that he is now back in your life. And it was impatient. And it was inappropriate. But it was a response that is not unknown by women whose man has spend time in jail.
That does not make it right, nor acceptable.
Your body was imposed upon brutally for his own reasons.
That was not loving, it was just rough sex.
Of course it was not respectful.
Your persona felt disrespected.
He needs to re-learn empathy, consideration and how to love you tenderly.
Sit him down. Show him some empathy. But also bring him to the realization that you need tender loving. Not rough sex that forgets that you have feelings too.
Let him know how the rough sex affected you, and made you feel, and why.
Tell him what you would prefer instead.
Tell him what you need from him and what you will do in return.
He is out of jail and yes he is a free man. He has rights.
But he may have to relearn empathy.
And so do your have rights too.
Explain your expectations and your hopes for the future.
You have a right to be listened to and to be respected. Anything that is disrespectful towards you is not acceptable.
My best wishes to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2013): Na, it was bomb sex. He wasn't hold or pushing on my stomach at all. I jus felt so nauseous after. N I still feel like that.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (31 December 2012):
Maybe he was squashing on your stomach. Sex takes a lot out of you. Your body can sometimes only operate one thing at a time. When it comes to vigorous activity or menstruation, a light fasting before is recommended.
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