A
male
age
41-50,
*ergioT
writes:I am in a long distance relationship for over a year, yet we have not seen each other in person, but we communicated daily in web cam, phone, facebook, etc. I love her and she says she loves me very much. We have plans to meet soon and we want to make kids after we live together. We are both over 30 years. We talk about sex and want to make love soon when we meet. However I have a problem, she wants to send her a picture of my pen.s, says she is curious to see how it looks, and I told her that I send, but instead i asked her to send me a picture of what she has between legs. She said she can not do that because she is afraid, she said to meet her and will be all mine. What to do, to send her a pic? It is a serious person, not a girl walking in the bars or on the street. But I do not like that she does not want to send me her naked pic, it means that she does not trust me. Advise please!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (12 November 2014):
 Don't send. Don't ask.
Wait till you meet in person (and don't have sex the first few meetings)
why has it taken so long to get together... if cash flow is a problem... this relationship is doomed since you really need to have the ability to travel and meet regularly and one of you has to move to be with the other soon.
and you need to learn that relationships are NOT balanced. just because you do for her does not mean she has to do exactly the same for you and vice versa.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 November 2014):
 Sorry, OP I have to agree with Sage here.
This is a RIDICULOUS first world problem. You think if you show her YOURS she should show you hers? What are you, 5?
Sending crotch-shots is not a "make or break" a relationship. I would honestly NOT be turned on if my husband send me a picture of his penis (then again I have seen it plenty of times in the last 20 years) But lets say we were first starting out dating. NO. NO I don't want a picture of a limp or happy penis on my phone. Maybe it's just because I'm older.
Instead of making SUCH a big deal out of this, make plans to meet up and get UNDRESSED with each other.
It doesn't mean she doesn't TRUST you, it means she doesn't WANT to take a picture of her snatch and send it out there on the Cloud... (and I don't blame her).
I DO think it was fair enough of you to ask for similar shots, but I'd tell her, it's OK to wait to see all the naked glory till you both met.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2014): Please do not do anything like that. Don't send that type of pics to anyone. It's not wise at all.
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A
female
reader, babalou  +, writes (11 November 2014):
 Neither of you should send anything. She has reason to be afraid since typically girls receive more slack when engaging in sexual activities, especially sexting. It's better to be safe than sorry.
Just wait until you can actually meet and see the real thing. It's that simple. If she won't show, which she shouldn't, then you don't show, which you shouldn't either. If your relationship is beyond sexual, it will survive without nude pictures.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 November 2014):
 This whole, damn, submittal is stupid!!!!!!
IF you and she want to see each other in some for of provocative settings... then do so at one or the other of your homes.... and sear that in to your memories....
This B/S about "sexting" and sending daring pictures of one-another is so stupid as to not be entitled to even considering it....
WHAT is the matter with our younger generation?????
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