A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem. Basically the world is crumbling beneath my feet. I have studies at Uni to finish, I'm in my last week of my internship and everything is going to hell. I really need some advice or at least a listening ear. This is my situation: I am currently living at home, in the country where my parents live (not the USA) with my chronically ill, rapidly deteriorating mom. My dad lost his job and has heart and liver problems, My brother has Down's syndrome and also lost his job, last week. On top of that we can barely manage to keep our heads above water financially. I loaned my dad $4500 of my savings and this weekend he told me has no way to pay me back because he used it to cover for my mom's care. (we get nurses 5 times a day, because my mom is basically paralyzed). He's going to sell the only car we have and get a really cheap version in order to give us some breathing room and maybe pay me back. Aside from my internship I work every weekend, because right now I'm the only one with a job. My dad's unemployment benefits wages will stop soon, so when that happens and we haven't found a solution we'll have to sell the house as well. This is weighing heavily on the entire family. I need to graduate this year so I can get a proper job, but the whole deal is affecting my ability to function well in a company.Travel time to my internship is long, but low cost because in my country students can use public transportation at a very low fee. Problem is: it takes me 5 hours (or more depending on the weather) to travel back and forth from my internship. I can't move because I don't have the funds, but it cuts my free time short drastically, on top of all the stuff I have to deal with at home. At the end of today I need to hand in my graduate thesis. They don't let me work on it during my internship so I've been working on it in my free time, which there isn't much off. I took one day off from my side job in the weekend, but it wasn't enough. I worked on the thesis all night and at 4am I realized I wouldn't finish it in time to make it to the internship. I sent the staff an e-mail (at 4am) explaining my situation and hoping they'd let me work from home. I just got off the phone with my boss and she was yelling at me, telling that it was unacceptable for an intern to decide she was going to work from home. I tried to explain to her that I saw no other choice, but she didn't want to hear it. At the end of the week I'm going to get my evaluation and I know this is going to reflect badly on me. It's basically the latest in a small string of misses and stumbles I've made lately. In the end I always get my work done on time, but I've had to stretch far to do so. I'm exhausted and there aren't enough hours in the day for me to finish what I need to do to graduate. I have explained my circumstances in person and I've also explained it in my initial report that I gave to her at the beginning of the internship. I get that they need to be firm and that they can't let an intern make decisions, but I wouldn't have made it if I saw another way out. What am I supposed to do? I honestly don't know whether to stand up for myself or just take it all in stride. If anyone reads this, thanks because I know it's an essay. I'd really appreciate it if you would take the time to answer.
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cheap, living at home, lost his job, my boss Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2013): It goes against my principals but if this boss can show no compassion,I would call in sick in order to get my thesis completed. You might need to get a doctors note. Best of luck and remember once yo qualify the world is your oyster.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 February 2013):
 As you put up a flag that doesn't represent the country you are in, it is more difficult to help. I'm going to assume you are in Europe somewhere. Go to the counseling office at your University and ask for immediate help. Like, TODAY.
Have them contact your internship director and explain the situation.
Which country are you in? There are many aunts who can do internet searches and find the links for the sites that could help you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2013): I must say you are coping extremely well, with all that is on your shoulders.Does the university have a student support section? They might be able to sugggest something. I don't know what is available in your country, but maybe the student support could refer you to agencies who could help in some way.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (25 February 2013):
If you don't go through a really bad time in your life then it can be hard to appreciate the good times. It's temporary and you should keep reminding yourself that when things are rough.
Regarding this internship. If you aren't getting paid then don't worry too much about it. They have no right to treat you like that, especially knowing you're going to school full time as well. If you need the internship for credit then you should talk to your teacher about leaving and going somewhere else to finish with the required hours.
Although you may want to remain super anonymous by not putting your correct country, it may be helpful to those trying to help you to know where you are and what programs are available to you.
As much as it seems that you need to help your family, you need to realize that if you don't finish school, you wont be much help to them. School needs to be your #1 focus. Your dad needs to do whatever he can to take care of things. If that means selling the house and moving to a rental or getting a smaller house than so be it. In most countries you can get a low paying job pretty easily. If your brother and dad both get a low paying job to make ends meet that will make things doable.
Maybe he can get paid to be your mothers care taker? He may be able to in some countries.
Good luck, you'll be okay, just push through it and remember that this will help you grow as a person.
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A
male
reader, Hnk  +, writes (25 February 2013):
 I have never been in such situation myself but remember, every hardship makes you stronger and every night is accompanied by day. Darkness with light. Just put up your bright side and try thinking about your thesis while traveling if you have research with you. You got long time during traveling.best of luck :-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2013): Hi. So sorry about your mother. I had the same with my mom being sick for 7 years. It was really bad, and I couldn't stay in a same city with her, soi traveled every month by plane, and it exhausted my family. You are also so young, and have all the studies to finish.You are going to meet a lot of people who are not going to care about your circumstances. Like your supervisor. She doesn't sound like a good person, tell you the truth. Do they pay you for your internship? I quit plenty of internships before I found one that was acceptable. Not only they didn't pay for it, but also didn't treat me very nice, which was ridiculous. It will end I one week which is a good thing. Everything ends at one point. Things will get better. Couple years ago, seemed like all bad happened to us at once. My mom was dying, and when she died, 10 days later when I came from funeral my dog died. I was like a zomby, doing everyday things automatically, but catching myself every time I smiled. 2 months later company where my husband worked closed after him working there many years. Unemployment was not even enough to cover mortgage. Our daughter started college, and she needed help financially. Our savings were disappearing so fast. I couldn't sleep nights. We needed to do something. So we rented out one room, and then after my husband was looking for a job for a year, desided to open our own store. I m not saying that we are now rich or very successfully, but at least those bad times are gone. You have a great advantage, you are very young. Promise, it will get better, you are on a right track.
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