A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I just started seeing this guy for a month, even we never talked about our relationship status, it's more like fwb or f*buddies..In the beginning, he didn't really seem to give a thought much about meRecently, he acts like he is my boyfriend when we're together. He cares for me, affectionate inside outside bed room, he asks me multiple times everytime we meet up that if I missed him and says he does. I just can see there's def. difference in his acting. He told me about his clingy exgirlfriend, and seems like he doesn't want to date or have a girlfriend because of the previous relationship he had. The thing is, he used to text me right after our meet ups, few times a day (even tho mostly it was dirty texts), but now he doesn't text as much anymore. He would text me everyday though, but we just exchange few words that's it. Now the text is more like casual things..he doesn't text dirty anymore though.Howeverr, he definately has decreased his text and it's not because he's too busy to text. he has time.I don't know what we are up to. I was going to see him casually with no attachment, but then the way he acts and how he changed has just confused me and now making me get attached to him.. should I cut the contact and see how it goes?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2013): It sounds, as so often with these FWB arrangements, that you want it to be more. Have 'the conversation' with him and see where you stand.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 February 2013):
 my husband and I started as FWB.... never thought it would change.
he remarked the other day that having sex with someone releases the endorphins and chemicals that make you care more.... he's right. it worked for him and for me...
I actually when I first got here asked "does love Beget Love" it was interesting as I was trying to figure out which one of us started to care first.... he swears it was me, I swear it was him... doesn't matter.... we ended up together...
and just because we act like bf/gf when together does not mean it's serious or changing from FWB.... when hubby and I started... part of our deal was letting him "practice" dating skills... taking me out to dinner, hand holding... etc..
sadly the only way you know how HE feels is to ASK HIM.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2013): The fact that he doesn't text to you dirty anymore is a good sign. He feels no need for it. Looks like he is may be changing his attitude toward you
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 February 2013):
 If you don't want to date him and you know he doesn't want to date anyone what is the point? Sex with someone?
FWB rarely work out long term because SOMEONE always starts to have feelings.
He is not MAKING you get attached, that is a choice only YOU can make, so if you can't keep it strictly FWB, then yes, I would tell him you can't do the FWB thing.
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