A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why do women say they are too tired to have sex, have a headache, etc. when the reality is they just have little to no desire to have sex?I got married quite recently, and my wife has often said she's too tired to have sex and has to go to sleep so she can get up for work the next day, that she isn't feeling well, etc. I don't doubt she is somewhat tired some of the time, but she often says this right after being on facebook for 2-3 hours straight while I'm right there with her in the bedroom. She constantly complains about her work schedule and how sleepy is she is, but it's just a result of her staying up late surfing facebook every night. It's obvious that if she really wanted to have sex she would could do it earlier. Even when we do have sex, the first thing she normally does when we're done is pick up her iPhone and get back on facebook.I wish she'd just be honest and say she prefers facebook to having sex with me (or doing anything else with me), but she insists she loves having sex with me but she's just too tired/sleepy. What is especially annoying about it is that if I tell her I'm leaving to go to the gym and workout, etc. while she's on facebook, she almost always wants me to stay there, saying we need to do X around the house, etc. Typically, an hour later she's still sitting there on facebook telling me "Don't leave, I'm almost done!"Obviously, I have to just stop letting her facebook obession affect my life so much.
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female
reader, NennaHB  +, writes (7 August 2011):
 I don't want to be mean, but have you considered that maybe something is getting her attention up there on FB? I mean, as a recently married couple, nothing is supposed to be keeping you off of each other. If this is the way your sex life was before FB appeared in the equation, I guess it's fine. If you used to be more sexually active and suddenly you are not, ask yourself why. Don't rule out that behind the FB could be another man! Look into this possibility and rule it out if you can.
A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (6 August 2011):
 Now that you are married.it ISNT only your life anymore.
This is an "OUR LIFE" and her FB addiction is affecting your relationship, not just your sex life.
Were you sexually active prior to marriage? If yes, was this how she was before?
She may genuinely BE tired. Tapping a few keys on FB is certainly a lot easier than sex, unless she is just LAYING there.
You need to talk to her, out of the bedroom, that you feel that she prefers FB over spending time with you. How about coming up with an agreement to detach from the electrontic world during a certain time. Set up "Couple Time" only.
Do you still date? Do you go away for weekends or overnight? If she is so tired and worn, ask her if there is something that needs to be changed in the schedule to feel more rested and balanced.
Some couples have a no tv in the bedroom rule. How about no phones, ipads, computers in the bedroom.
Have dinner together with the phone and all other gadgets OFF. Go for a walk and leave the phones at home.
If you catch her on FB during a time she said "I will be right there..." put a hand on her shoulder and say dear...I love US more than FB, please do the same?"
Use terms that show you are on the same team. There is no YOU against ME, yours or mine...this is WE and OURS.
Best Wishes.
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