A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:After 35 years of marraige my wife and I no longer have sex . She falls asleep in front of the tv and I amuse myself at the computer We had a normal ex life till about 8 years ago I noticed I was the only one initiating sex. Then she became more and more difficult to arouse with foreplay until one day I just decided it was no longer worth the effort masturbation was now more satisfying and I ceased trying It took her about 6 months before she mentioned that I had seemed to have lost interest in sex and believe me by that stage I had lost interest. We have been on oversease trips together for 4-8 weeks on several occassions and in all that time have probably performed mutual masterbation only once each trip so it is not lack of opportunity I have tried everything I know or used to do in our early marraige but she is uninterested What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007): I am so pleased to read that a man wants to keep things going after 25 years, congratulations, that is love. Most men of your age would of moved onto someone who was interested in them, maybe a lot younger, but i take my hat off to you for staying and trying to make things right. I can honestly say that i love to feel special by my bloke. If he comes in from work tired i then try and be understanding. Does your wife do a tiring job in the day? Maybe she is feeling a bit down in the dumps. Is she happy? Happy about her looks? she may have some self esteem issues. I know i sometimes do, even now. I wish i was younger, thinner, prettier etc. Give her plenty of hugs and cuddles and tell her you love her often. Make her feel special, these things always work with me. It nice to get to work and get a special email from my hubby or just a little note left in my lunch bag. I wish you well and dont give up trying, you sound so lovely.
take care
xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007): Wow, 35 years..That is a looong time! Why don't you sit her down & ask her why she has lost interest? Maybe it's her hormones I assume if she has not reached menopause, she will be soon. That could be it right there, although I am not an expert. Do you try & do romantic things for her once in a while? Women associate sex with love & I know that if my man made me feel special, I'd be more ready to have sex with him. Try it..and I would really talk to her about this.
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A
female
reader, BlueEyedAngel  +, writes (8 October 2007):
 the first thing i would try is to surprise her one night with a bubble bath and candles, slow music and really show her that she still feels special in every way. cook her her favorite dinner and eat by candle light and play a little bit by Kenny G.(very romantic to eat by candle light and listen to Kenny G) also give her a foot massage or back rub make her feel like she is the only in the world. if this dont help she may be having hormone troubles and that could be the reason her sex drive is down. good luck and let me know how things go.
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