A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i am 19 i have been with my 19yr old boyfriend since we were 16 and we have a son together. although having a child young we have always been a strong couple and have always loved eachother. problems started earlier this year my boy friend began thinking about his first love and got into contact with her i discovered this and was deeply hurt he promised never to do it again. he also made it very clear he had no intentions of cheating on me and that he wanted to meet her to get her outta his head. anyway a couple months later and he broke up with me, (our relationship had changed and i had no trust in him always thinking that he was thinking of her instead of me.) i was devastated, and for about a week i didnt eat and didnt stop crying. he began playing mind games although he said he didnt want to be with me he kept coming to my house to "chat" each time this happened i got my hopes up, and i eventually told him to leave me alone. anyway 2 weeks after we split up he dropped my son home to me and i begen questioning if he had been in contact with his ex. he admitted he had and said that there was nothing left between them. Very upset i snatched his mobile and locked him out to go through it (i know i had no right but i was so upset) i went through it and found that he had met 2 other girls during the 2 weeks we had split. i spoke to him and began crying and he ended up begging me to get back together with him. i agreed but only because he swore on our sons life that he had done nothing sexually with any of these girls. Although we have been back together for a while now i still get really jealous over them other girls and the ex. so down to the question, how could he chat up so many other girls in them 2 weeks? i didnt even look at anyone else i was to upset, and will i ever get over it and trust him again? he hasnt done anything since we got back together and i no for 100% that there is nothing between him and his ex. im just worried that he is gonna leave me again
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007): U have to understand you guys have been together since you were 16, you guys are still very young and he is probably going through a phaze of wanting or thinking about other girls which is a natural course of life, its what he does that counts. Most guys have only had to deal with spots and girls, but you say you have a daughter that alone is very time consuming he probably saw the break up as his 'freedom' period, most guys in a relationship think the grass is greener on the other side it will pass. Being paranoid about the ex is what every girl does, why is it when you fall in love the thing that always plays up in our heads are the dreaded EX'S!!!! I have to admit it would break my heart if my boyfriend said that he had to see his ex to get her out of his head but at least yours was honest and told you.
Stop dwelling over the ex you are the one he chose you are the one that he had your baby with, he is the one that is still with you and not her think of it like that!!!!!
Right i think you may need to spice up your sex life, give him mind blowing sex that the only thing he thinks about is you and trust me it will make you feel much better about yourself, build up your self esteem, one thing i do no is that the more you assume men of a crime the more they will distace themselves from you and its more likely that they will end up doing it anyway. hold back on the green monster and love eachother. Communication is key, the night you have mind blowing sex, make a night of it, order food have a romantic dinner watch a movie at home all snuggled up let him no that you understand.
If you cant forgive and forget then the relationship will never work, but dont be a door mat either, tel him how much he hurt you, and that if he did it agian you will walk away, cos you and your daughter should be his number one priority, his no.1 thought. Rekindle the flame and enjoy yourselves you are only 19.
A
female
reader, Cupcake  +, writes (8 October 2007):
 Your situation worrys me a bit. Is he going to leave you everytime he thinks he has feelings for someone else? This wasnt fair to you and to your son. He was clearly being selfish, However there is hope. Since you began dating at such a young age maybe he felt like he was missing out on something and wanted to explore that, after doing so he clearly realized the grass isnt always greener on the other side, and has now made the choice to be with you. Men dont usually realize what they have until its gone, or almost gone. So as selfish as it was for him to leave you, he has now made the decision to be with you and stick it out with you. Give this man the benifit of the doubt, and just put your trust in him.. Fully. If this were to ever happen again you will know not to take him back. But for the sake of your relationship give him your trust. And let go of the Jealousy, this man has chosen to be with you and has a son with you. I hope everything works out for you. Good Luck and Take Care!
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