A
male
age
41-50,
*lueguy
writes:Not sure how I should feel about my wife and her feeling nudity is only a problem if your looking at it sexually .. I find it disrespectful if someone is over and she doesn’t have a bra on or is t fully clothed .. am I over reacting?
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male
reader, truce1000 +, writes (28 April 2021):
I encourage my wife to not wear a bra, and she doesn't most of the time. The only time anyone commented was a male lecher neighbor that said, Patt you are nipping! Her response was, yeah, they do that sometimes. Which I thought was a perfect response.
A
male
reader, Blueguy +, writes (27 November 2019):
Blueguy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your comments
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 November 2019):
 I have noticed that the OP Blueguy is the same who on Nov. 17Th posted a question " My son is hitting on my wife ".
Apparently, he has a 19 y.o. son who hits blatantly on his stepmom (the OP's wife ), - ( well, poor kid, can't really blame him too much if stepmom goes around tits out all the time…) Stepmom said she is not bothered and let the kid do he wants , it's not a big deal…
What can we say ? I guess we can just express the OP, our amazement and sympathy for his having the dubious distinction of being surrounded by really quirky, eccentric family members...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2019): So when she KNOWS guests are coming she is fully dressed. But occassionaly when she's hanging out in her pants someone drops by and she doesn't rush to put on clothes. I mean that's unusual but I don't think it means anything other than she's quite comfortable with her body. Like you said, these are unannounced visits but when she knows someone is coming then she has clothes on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2019): My response to your first post was submitted before I saw your second post about the panties.
She goes beyond being bold; if she sits there in her underwear in-front of random male-guests. Now I'm beginning to wonder about her mental-health.
Does she have a drinking problem or has she been seeing a therapist for any kind of personality-disorder? This is beginning to seem like something more along the lines of mental-illness; not just "being comfortable in her own home." It seems she has no filters or impulse-control.
Sir, it appears she may need professional-therapy. It's not just about going braless. She's running around in her underwear and topless in-front of anybody and everybody. A family intervention might be required to urge her to see a mental-health professional.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2019): If she's walking around topless then that's disrespectful. If she's not wearing a bra but has a top on and finds that more comfortable then I think that's fine, especially in her own home. Priority should be comfort. Personally I find it uncomfortable without a bra but she may be different
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2019): If your concerns are that it draws too much male-attention; and her nipples showing around kids might be inappropriate. I understand.
All this crapola about having no shame of the human body is a smoking pile of bull manure! I guess a guy should be able to just strut around with his junk dangling and swinging-around in-front of the world, because it's so natural!!!
She argues that it's only sexual if you see it that way. I think visible nipples are not only seen sexually; but also as a matter of a lack of modesty, and disrespect for those who are older or kids. Then you could argue, she has every right to be relaxed and comfortable in her own home.
If guests are offended, it is likely someone will say something; or decline your invitations to gatherings at your house. With the exception of men who might enjoy the show. She's an exhibitionist, and her excuse is just a bunch of crap. However, she still has a very good point!
My advice is to ask her to consider the perception of the guests; and if there are kids at the gathering. Teenage-boys aren't babies, and will somehow get a pic to share on the internet. May as well share, what she wants the world to see! If she doesn't have the greatest physique, don't worry about the guests; she's right, they may be more grossed-out than impressed. If they continue to visit without complaint, why should you?
We live in a society with twisted perceptions, warped-values, and weird arguments to defend doing just about anything. I have no issues with public breastfeeding; it's natural, and babies must be fed. If guys look, they look! It's different running around with your boobs bouncing and swaying; while visible in-front of your dinner-guests and their children. Shows more of a lack of self-respect, and a dab or raunchiness; rather than some sense of freedom and defiance of inhibition. Judgy-folk will talk, and others just write her off as a kook!
My advice is, leave her alone and let her do it. People will usually say something; or word will get back to her through the grapevine, if folks are talking about her. That often does the trick. The more you protest, the more she'll showoff. Leave it alone, she's being herself. You had to have known this about her before you married her. She's a somewhat tamed-exhibitionist; and it's better than having body dysmorphia or feeling self-hatred. Her boldness is just her way.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2019): Is she walking around the house in front of strangers tits out? I mean I guess that's kind of unusual but if she's just wearing a top with no bra on then I suggest you wear a bra for a few days and see what you think. Those things are uncomfortable as hell. If other people sexualise her body that is THEIR problem. Not hers. And certainly not yours.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (25 November 2019):
 This is two “problems”:
1) No Bra: bras can be VERY uncomfortable and irritating. Nipples or braless boobs that are modestly covered by a top/dress that isn’t transparent are only sexual to people who objectify the person. It’s fair to silently acknowledge to yourself that someone’s nipples are visible or they’re not wearing a bra, but thinking about it further or staring is just childish. Her not wearing a bra shouldn’t be an issue; even fancy dresses at black tie events are often worn without bras.
2) “Not fully clothed”: this is subjective. If she’s wearing a crop top and mini skirt/shorts, I’d agree, but if you have an issue with her not wearing a bra, I’m wondering what your definition of “not fully clothed” is. If she is wearing a summer dress, it’s probably “fully clothed”, albeit unusual for most places in winter. If she’s wearing modest shorts or a skirt just above the knee, she’s “fully clothed”. If she’s wearing a tank top, she’s fully clothed.
What exactly is it that she wants to wear that you consider “not fully clothed”?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2019): I personally never wear a bra.But I do not walk around topless either.I wear a t shirt or tank top.I cannot breathe and feel restricted when I have worn them in the past.Also I live in a very hot climate and another extra layer of hot clothes is not gonna happen.If all that you are worried about in life is if your wife wears a bra or not you have it easy.Grow up she is an adult.Let her wear what she wants.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2019): I had an ex do that: he had a wood heater in his living room (he had an open floor plan in his house) so his living/dining/kitchen area got pretty hot sometimes. All he had to do was adjust the heater or shut it off. But he stripped down to his skivies. I went home every time because I thought it was disrespectful. Boxers and a t-shirt would have been okay.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2019): Disrespectful to whom exactly ?
Brad a used to hold breasts up Why do her breasts and their height have anything to do with anyone else but her . It may surprise you as a man to learn that bras can be extremely uncomfortable and one of the first things many women enjoy doing when they get home is taking their bra off . Much the same as many men enjoy removing their tie and shoes. Is it also disrespectful for you not to wear shoes and a tie when guests are over ?
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (25 November 2019):
I think I get what you mean,... there are stages of undressing which may not scream " come hither, you big boy " yet they scream " I am a big slob " or " I value you as much as the dirt under my nails ".
If you wear a thick baggy ratty PJ, it's not sexual, au contraire ,generally it's enough to chill any sexual thought, but if you have invited company for dinner, or your boss has come by to discuss work, etc. yes, it is disrespectful and inappropriate even if you are fully covered.
The same if, due to hot weather or sheer laziness, you go around, or stay at home, in attires which belong to the beach or the swimming pool. Wearing, say, a bikini, or even big granny bra and granny pants , may cover enough skin to not be
even remotely sexual, but it's still , in most contexts , tacky and just rude to your visitors.
Of course, context is important too. Going around only wearing a penis sheath is perfectly appropriate for Amazonas tribesmen, but if you see your bank manager only clad by a penis sheath you start getting worried. If you live in LA you could get away with going shirtless to the shops ( although in many places I have seen notices saying " no shirt, no service " ... ) but if you were in Italy they 'd get scared thinking that you are escaping from a loony bin ( and in some places, it's as warm as California , or more !, still...).
The fact is that every culture or community will have spoken or implied rules and expectations in terms of what's proper and adequate to wear, where and when ( and that, regardless of its sexual appeal ). Now , in most societies, luckily, if you break this kind of rules, you can't be fined and you can't go to jail.... but you surely can give offence and hurt people's sensitivities.
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A
male
reader, Blueguy +, writes (25 November 2019):
Blueguy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHonestly it’s both at times.. if she’s aware we are having guests she will always have a bra on and fully clothed but if a friend of our randomly stops in and she’s with not wearing a bra or happens to be in just panties she won’t run to get dressed I’ve had friends ask me if this is on purpose because we are trying to lure them in and I’ve come home to her in just panties and a tshirt that isn’t covering much with our male friends over and again I’m not sure if I’m over reacting when I get upset
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (25 November 2019):
 Is your wife bare chested when people come over, or simply wearing a shirt with no bra underneath? You questions hasn't really made that clear. You might need to let us know what you consider "fully clothed" … I have an Aunt who considers anybody not wear a frock over a petticoat and stockings to be underdressed.
Personally I often wear no bra under T shirts or some dresses, its my choice, breasts are not sexual, they are there to feed babies, and the only people who see bare breasts as sexual are those who have been TAUGHT that.
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