A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:When a girl drinks a lot and she kisses another man and he takes her in the gents loo for some more action, will she be able to stop going all the way and will she remember everything what happened in there? she remembers what they were talking about but not what happened in the loo, is that possible? I am talking about my wife here and I want to find out about it, or is she having me on and cheating on me.thank you Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2009): Was she aware that you knew what was happening? It's possble that your wife actually gets off on this. I know a girl whose self-professed biggest turn-on is 'doing something I shouldn't and knowing I might get caught' - basically, cheating on her boyfriend under his nose.
If so, it's really down to you to decide how you feel about it. Maybe, like 'newbern', she finds it brings an extra passionate jealousy to the relationship. I'm not making any judgements.
A
male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (29 July 2009):
 Watch what you wish for with the fantasy...you may get more than you bargained for.....When you put your hands(or your wife) to the fire, you will get burned! Cant remember the conversation?...because there wasn't a conversation...lol
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A
female
reader, newbern +, writes (28 July 2009):
I see. Sorry than. I misinterpreted what you described as your 'fantasy'. Hmmm...
There are two things here. If you start pestering here with questions you may lose her. Would you be able to just accept that she may have been naughty and carry on with her? Just make sure you keep a better eye on her next time.
As a woman who's repeatedly cheated on her partner, I can tell you it doesn't mean that she doesn't love you. Seriously. Not at all. Especially if there was booze involved. Granted it's not a nice thing to do, but people do get carried away while they shouldn't.
Or maybe she's just teasing you. I know this sounds awful, but each time my boyfriend found out I cheated on him, he'd react with superjealousy followed by unbelievable randiness, like you wouldn't believe- almost as if he naturally wants to "reclaim" his woman!...
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi newbern
yes its my fantasy but me being the man who goes in the loo with her not some other stranger. yes she is a flirt but then so am i but i dont go beyond the most ill do is hug a woman from the side but never full on i just love chatting with women thats all which i am good at but other things it has to be only my wife
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A
female
reader, newbern +, writes (27 July 2009):
Right- so it's your fantasy...then you can't complain!
Is she a flirt when you go out normally?
Do you object to that?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni agree that she might not be cheating all i want to know is what happened in there i know it was the drink so cant really blame anyone as i should have been able to control it better as i saw them going in and i dont drink but i got turned on seeing them two going in as it has been my fantasy for a very long time as i know she doesnt even let me do anything to her when we are out everything has to be done in the bed only so this was part of my fanatsy but with me being the man taking her in there but i didnt object. i just wanted to know if she can rememeber the conversation why cant she rememeber going in the loo or he trying to get his boobs out of the bra earlier as they were out till we came home but she cant rememeber all this while she can rememebr the conversation plus saying goodbyes to her friends as well when we left.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (27 July 2009):
 It seems to me that she got drunk and made a mistake. She has "cheated" on you but I dont think she is still "cheating" if that makes sense. I am guessing that she has told you that this happened, so it is unlikely she is having an affair otherwise she would be trying to hide it.
If she can remember what they were talking about then yes, she should remember what happened in the toilets. Drink doesnt make you have a selective memory - you either blank out for large parts of the night or you have a full memory. You dont remember a conversation if you were that drunk you couldnt remember a fumble in a bathroom!
I think what happened in there is irrelevant, the fact is that she went into the toilets with another man, so something did happen. I cant imagine that this bloke just took her into the gents for a guided tour! So the decision now lies with you - can you forgive her for her mistake? Can you honestly forgive and forget for this, and move on? Or will you hold onto this forever and never really forgive her for her infidelity?
You need to have some long talks with her, forget about the whole "what did you do in the toilets" business and focus on moving the relationship forwards. Maybe try marriage counselling if you feel you need it, but both of you need to really want to make the relationship work if you are going to go through counselling. You need to work out why she felt the urge to kiss another man, it appears that there are some problems here that you need to work through together (if thats what you want).
I hope this helps and good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): I cant remember when drunk often means i wish i didnt remember.You need answers.
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A
female
reader, newbern +, writes (27 July 2009):
But how do you know for sure that she kissed him? Did you see it? Or did she tell you? Need more info to comment on this.
I had a similar situation with my b/f about 6 months ago in a club. I got stupidly drunk and started snogging this guy on the dancefloor. My b/f apparently saw everything.
Afterwards my boyfriend challenged me on that one and I onwed up to it without any probs. He was furious but I did say "dump me if thats what you feel like doing", but in the end he didnt and came back crawling ;-P
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