A
male
age
41-50,
*emotionalMan
writes:My wife cheated on me with her cousin. They had sex multiple times and she was staying at his house. This was all while she was on vacation visiting her family. She just started getting to know them all including her father. He ran out on her mother when she was born. She acted weird with me on the phone because of what she did and told me she was staying there. We argued, hung up, 10 days went by and i called her father and asked him to have her call me about "papers" She did from her cousin's house. I told her I needed her address to send divorce papers. She paused then said no in a broken almost crying voice. I asked her why , she wanted to stay there etc etc and we argued then she shouted "I cheated on you!" She lied and said it was just some guy her father knew. That it happened once and they used a condom. I forgave her and asked her to come home and let's rebuild our marriage. We talked for hours and hours. The next day, she told me " I have something I need to tell you, but I don't know how you'll take it." She then told me it was her cousin whom she was living with and that it had happned more like 3 or so times. I asked did she really use protection and she said "yes my aunt was the one who bought them." She said she need to tell me everything to see if I would still take her back. He cousin is in love with her. I asked if she loved him and she said no. She said it annoyed her when he would say I love you etc etc. Her aunt and most of the family want her to stay. Her aunt wants her to stay with her son and says he will kill/hurt himself if she leaves. I told my wife so, that is not your responsibility, Our marriage is. I told her she could not stay at his house. She had her aunt drive her to her step fathers house. She is there now, until payday so I can send her tickets to come home. Anyway I talked to her after she go there. This was tonight and she sounded all down. I asked her what's up? She said she was sad, She loves her aunt and her aunt cried when she told her she was coming back to me. She told me her aunt said I'd never l;et her come back and she's have 23 years without her and she doesn't want to lost that. She's known this woman less than 2 mths ffs, We have been together almost 7 years! She said 100% she is coming home, but it sounds like she is unsure. I don't understand why. She keeps saying things like I'm just messed up I don't feel like myself i feel different and I just want to feel normal again, happy like I was before I left. Is it likely she will actually come or am I getting ahead of myself? Just incase someone says it. Yes what she did was horrible , yes I'm hurting emotional over it and having a hard time dealing with it all, it seems so surreal. I do want her back very much I still love her and I don't care about how I should run away or get out. We will go through therapy and get her help. I just want to know if she'll come back or does her family have a huge hold on her?...
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cheated on me, condom, cousin, divorce, I love you Reply to this Question
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male
reader, cuadrillas +, writes (26 June 2010):
This is not an answer just a question that is similar.\
My wife a couple months ago found out her cousin on the other side of the country had cancer and wanted to go see him. Well they were never close but I didnt understand why but I let her go, she came back a week later and started fighting afterwards.
We decided to do some kind of self counciling where we make sure to talk to each other every day for about an hour or more well she still wanted to go back this time for 2 weeks.
(also we have a baby and I work full time and shes a stay at home mom)
She goes away for 2 weeks and says she needs time to think about our relationship, so she comes back and her cousin is with her and he never really said words to me and me and my wife would keep fighting cause she didnt want to spend time with me while she was back and so forth, well the day he leaves to go back home she tells me she no longer loves me and wants to separate.
So we have at it a bit and i leave and stay at a buddies place. This whole time im confuzed to why we are so bad when right before she left the 2nd time we were good. Well a few days past and all the signs are pointing to this similar situation and i finally confront her and she tells me she had sex with him twice when she was out of town and she thinks she loves him......
She looked into divorce pryer to telling me but i still love her but dont know how to face her and not want to throw up when i see her. 1st off if she still wants to be with me how can i get past this? and if she doesnt how can I let her take my baby to be with her inbred lover?
A
male
reader, lerokiya  +, writes (2 April 2010):
Often times a woman, when caught, will lie about the details of the infidelity. If lies don't work, then she will resort to minimizing "only had sex once." It sounds like your wife is in this state of mind right now. Usually it means that she herself cannot bring herself to believe what she has done. Many women who are vulnerable emotionally, will fall victim to a sweet talker or even any guy that feeds that emptiness. Good luck in your future.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2010): telll her you've only known them for two months, isn't it a little strange your aunt watns you to have sex with her son, and that she was the one that bought the condoms, how do you know that they weren't pierced because she wants grandkids and nooen else will give them to her son, Why would you choose them over me, you can have them in your life but in small doses.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (29 March 2010):
 There is definitely something strange going on there with that family. She's being manipulated and they're preying on her fragile state. No matter what happens you need to get her home first and foremost. She seems like she's giving into pressure pretty easy and they are using that. Get her home, then you can talk to her and get therapy,etc. If her Aunt is pressuring her then you know things are just weird there. (Getting them condoms????)
Get her home and after that you can sit down and work on your marriage. Yes she cheated on you but while I don't have all of the details it sounds like this other family is partly to blame....
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