A
male
age
51-59,
*h424
writes:why does my wife want to turn in a gay lover and do not want any part of me .We have one child she some time talk to me nice and thentalk to me like a pig .We been with each other for 15 years and now she do not love me . can anyone tell me why ? i still love her with all my heart Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2010): If she straight out told you she wants to turn gay and not have any part of you, she's already gay and just accepted it within herself. She's ironically being considerate of your feelings by telling you this, because she wants to be honest and let you decide what to do from there. She didn't just decide to change her mind on what her sexual preference is, but has finally embraced her true sexuality, which she can't change. She's finally gained the courage to admit it to you, as well.
If she was bisexual I would say the marriage is worth trying to continue, but if she's directly telling you she doesn't want any part of you, then that doesn't leave you many options. I would seriously consider at least splitting, for now, since marriage counselling can't change the fact that she's gay, and just came out, 15 years later.. If my wife told me that, I would divorce her, kids or not, and try as best I could to be there for the children.
A
female
reader, LLindy87  +, writes (18 September 2010):
 are you saying your wife told you she has a gay lover? and now you are wondering why she doesn't love you?
the answer is simple, she's not straight. she's gay. It seemed to have taken her 15 years to figure this out, but unfortunately you'll have to learn to accept that she likes girls.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2010): Sounds like she's made her mind up. If she's a lesbian and you lack the proper parts to make her happy there's not much you can do about it. Sounds like she has some issues (anger? or frustrations) and is taking it out on you. If she's not in love with you, divorce her and find someone who is.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (18 September 2010):
Hi there. It's hard to say. Perhaps she has come to a point in her life where she is looking for something that is missing. It sounds like boredom, plain and simple. When people feel bored, they'll do just about anything to make life more interesting.Perhaps she is simply curious and nothing more. In any case like other things like this (gambling, alcohol, workaholism, casual sex), it serves as an escape and nothing more. Having thoughts of doing something unusual, simply in the absence of something more meaningful to do. The escape activity helps the person avoid to inconvenience and hard work of having to make the necessary change to make their lives better. And also, it distracts them from the feelings of restlessness.If your sex life with her has always been good, then it's probably not about the sex.How do you personally feel about making love with your wife? Do you feel that she has felt satisfied afterwards?Have you tried to talk to her about it? If not, you need to talk and ask her what it is that really is making her unhappy.Maybe she doesn't feel close to you anymore.It's important to really speak from the heart when you do and be open and honest about what you both like and don't like about the relationship. It might be that you haven't spoken about these things and just let resentments slide without saying anything. Carrying any resentment is not healthy for any couple. Over time it slowly poisons any relationship and can spell the beginning of the end.It might just be a case of her not giving enough time for herself, to do hobbies and interests and to have fun. She might put everyone else's needs before her own needs. In fact, it does sound like that a lot. A work/life balance problem.She needs to catch up with her friends from time to time and actually go out for coffee and cake, laugh and have fun. In fact, you both ought to be finding time to each catch up with your own friends.It is important to have some time apart from each other, one night a week for about 2 hours maximum, to either pursue hobbies or catch up with friends. It will do you both a lot of good.The more I think about it, the more I think that it just might be her not having enough fun in her life generally. Everyone needs fun, it's vital to life. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. It's so true. Having fun and frivolity puts everything back into balance. It also is very relaxing.Balance seems to be what's missing in her life.Hope this helps you. Take care and best wishes.
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