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I asked a coworker out and was turned down, now I feel awkward around her! Should I carry on as if nothing happened?

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Question - (18 September 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 18 September 2010)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi guys I wonder if you can help me.

About three months ago I started a new job and started working with this lovely women who I got on with really well.

We would share jokes with each other and have general conversations about everyday stuff.

We started flirting with each other and I started to fancy her. She asked me if I was single and I told her I was. I found out that she was single as well so I decided to ask her out. She told me NO!!!. That she had alot going on in her life at the moment and that she wasn't interested. I felt really down after she told me no and now find it really hard when I see her at work. She still flirts with me but now I feel really stupid for asking her out because I feel that I read the signals completely wrong and I find it hard to be around her now because I do fancy her but can't work out where she is coming from. What should I do????. Should I ignore her now or carry on like nothing has happened???. I can't work out what to do. Please help.

View related questions: at work, flirt

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2010):

Ignore her teasing or flirting, since she's just looking for attention. If she bothers you with bonus mind games such as telling you that you look sad or as though something's bothering you(when you ignore her), tell her to go waste someone else's time, and that you're busy(even if you're on a coffee break and doing nothing).

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A female reader, CupidsPrincess United Kingdom +, writes (18 September 2010):

Embarrassing, is it not?

I don't think you have read the signals wrong from what your description. I don't think your asking her out was stupid either. It is natural for you to do so! I have had occasions where men gave me signals and eventually they move on with other girls without any real reason. It hurts a little but, lol, being a female it never occured me to ask anyone out.

I would say you should carry on as if but ignore her flirtations. You don't have to show her much concern other than in courtesy as she has said a BF NO.

Don't worry much!

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