A
female
age
41-50,
*ixieGwen
writes: The guy I'm dating constantly wants to know why I like him, what is it about him..and says he cant understand why I like him seeing that im soo nice, a good girl..(ive never done drugs, stolen or anything like that) and he used to do drugs, fight with guys etc. he doesnt do that anymore (been 2 yrs) and is tryin to get his life together.I consider him to be a good person and ive told him this among other things.Currently hes having fam issues among other things goin on,so i gave him his space letting him know im here for him.When we hung out the other night he was sayin how im the type of girl that sticks by her guy no matter what(and seemed surprised im like that).He was so happy to see me and on top of that was confused why i like him.He said "you deserve better, you really do".I said "well do you want me to date others?" and he said no.I feel like he thinks of me as a unicorn sometimes (as funny as that sounds) he says im so genuine and that thats very rare, and it seems he cant believe im soo nice or sucha good person.(last chick he dated wouldnt let him see his friends, thought he was cheated and loved to argue/fight.)how can i reassure him that he needs to quit worrying about me liking him..that i do,told him why and thats it. Why is he like this?
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female
reader, PixieGwen +, writes (16 May 2010):
PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionit is a possibility he could be letting me down gently cos hes just not that into me..but if that were the case..why would he constantly tell me how great/genuine/rare i am ?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2010): When a guy tells a great woman that she deserves someone better I have found it's either for the two reasons listed:
1. He has low self esteem and thinks you are too good to be true, thus he believes that somewhere down the line you are going to leave him or cheat on him.
2. He is using that as an excuse to let you down in a "nice" manner b/c he is to afraid to tell you that he is just not that into you.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (16 May 2010):
He's afraid you are too good to be true. He's concerned that you two have different backgrounds. He's underestimating his ability to make you happy because he had a rough start in life.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (16 May 2010):
unfortunately, there isn't anything you can do to make him feel better about why you are with him. What he is feeling is about him and how he feels about himself. He doesn't feel worthy of having someone like you by his side because he has low self esteem.
Keep encouraging him to be the best person he can be and hang by his side. Nothing will give him more confidence that unconditional love.
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