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male
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*akotahalfbred
writes: My wife and I have been married for 3 years,she sleepson the couch or with the grandson instead of with me, we haven't had sex in about a year,and before that average was every six months after first year.We don't do anything outside of the house, don't go anywhere,or do anything.I get no romance,no intimacy nothing to build a relationship on and I am giving up she wants to blame things on me,and her past relationships.........MEN.I swear she has testerone flowing in her veins,lol.My question when is it enough and time to say so.
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male
reader, moose061970  +, writes (12 March 2009):
Hey my friend,I am in the same boat. They get to an age and sex is nothing to them because of changes in their bodies. I have been pushing sex on my wife to much she said this morning. She said "you planted the seed, let us see it grow." Saturday night was the 1st night in months I was able to fondle her breasts for some time until she said "They are becoming to senitive, but it been a long time and that felt very nice" So she knows I make the women in her feel loved. So I will see how that seed grows. Sit next to her, watch a TV program she likes and you may not. Time goes by, ask her "Honey can I take your Bra off for you." Then slowlly start to fondle her, just like I did. I wish you the best
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female
reader, monalj +, writes (23 February 2006):
There are two sides to every story, His, Hers and the truth, and since I am the women he is talking about, it any of you are interested in my side, just let me know.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2006): If you are a spirtual person praying on having others pray for your marriage works. But you have do it constantly.
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female
reader, beenthere +, writes (31 January 2006):
if she is not prepared to work on the relationship then you are only left with one option. leave
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (31 January 2006):
 I think you know when you have had enough. I also think that you are at that point now, from what you have been saying. If you have been looking at apts and stuff then in your heart of hearts you know it is over. The fact that people on here are backing uop what you were already thinking, well....
I wish you well x
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male
reader, lakotahalfbred +, writes (31 January 2006):
lakotahalfbred is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI also think it is waste for me to continue with this relationship.It's getting to the point where I'm looking at other women,looking at apts for rent.Is there a length of time we should recognize before the deed. Is it when a person is hurting and tired of being alone.That is my belief when one is no longer enjoying the life it's time to end it. Thank you for allowing me to hear from total strangers and backing up my thoughts.It has helped alot.
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female
reader, willywombat +, writes (30 January 2006):
Hey there agian.
The more I read about your life situation the more I think you are wasted on this woman I am sorry if I sound a little harsh but I feel you need to dump this relationship and move on. You are obviously miserable and you sound like you have tried everything, so I need to ask you - at what point do you give up.
You deserve love and happiness in you life with a life partner who loves and values you back. And I think this woman has major issues which you will never get to the bottom of.
Please remember honey this is just my opinion. I don't want to offend you in any way by saying this.
I really hope you find happiness lakota'.
Good luck x
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male
reader, lakotahalfbred +, writes (30 January 2006):
lakotahalfbred is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI may be 50,but I'm not dead........I still function as a man with desires.........,she gets angry so easy and she has a attitude about men anyway..........she doesn't need any man for anything...quote
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female
reader, beenthere +, writes (30 January 2006):
hi. i don't know if you've had the advice you need but i'd just like to say i feel sympathy for you. my partner and i didn't have sex for a full year because HE didn't want to. it turned out that he had replaced me with porn and had visited dating sites. as if he wanted sex with anyone but me. a lot of the advice i got was to leave him but i have stayed for the sake of our children and because i love him. it is hard to know what to do in that situation. maybe you could just show her affection in other ways. tell her you don't need to have sex to feel wanted but you do need some kind of attention from her
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male
reader, lakotahalfbred +, writes (29 January 2006):
lakotahalfbred is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHer grandson is more important then anything,sept her job,eating etc.I've asked her if she's trying to push me away,I've asked if it hurts to have sex I've tried to approch this at different angles,the out come is always the same. She has said all but one man in her life had an issue about sex so it sounds like it has happened in the past.When we first got together she wanted to get out of the rut she had been in with previous man but she allows herself to go there nothing I can do will change that.So my question when is,when is it time to throw in the towel?I'm a 50 year old man,and I will not live in a world with out love.I've explained to her the same thing,but it's like we go in a circle. thank you willywombat for your input.
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female
reader, willywombat +, writes (29 January 2006):
Oh you poor thing, she really isn't responding is she? Is there any reason you can think of that she would be so negative all the time? To tell the truth I think she sounds clinically depressed, has she lost all joy in life or is it just with you that she behaves this way. This may sound a little harsh, but if it is only with you she acts like this I think she could be sending signals to indicate she feels your relationship is heading for the rocks or even worse that she feels it is over but doesn't know hao to tell you. If she behaves like this regarding everything in her life than chances are she could be suffering with depression. When did this situation first manifest? Had there been a lot of negative things happening at the time? Was she under a lot of stress? If so then there may be a chance that her depression could have been triggered by outside forces (a death, life change such as the menopause, children problems, money worries etc)
I am sorry if I haven't been of much help. Yours is a difficult problem to tackle. I hope other agnony aunts on here have more luck helping you.
Remember this though, you seem to be doing everything right. If my husband was half as attentive as you I would be a very lucky lady.
xx
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male
reader, lakotahalfbred +, writes (29 January 2006):
lakotahalfbred is verified as being by the original poster of the questionromancing her.........is that like waking her up with coffee and a rose........asking if she wants to go for buggy ride and getting turned down,on anniversaries she wants to envite friends or do nothing.....on the weekends she sits on the couch and watchs tv............I ask her if she wants to do anything to get out of the house and she says I can go if I want to.......
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female
reader, willywombat +, writes (28 January 2006):
It can be hard for a woman to have sex if she feels that she isn't loved or respected by her partner. Maybe your wife has unresolved issues that she feels unable to discuss with you? Have you tried to talk with her about the reasons for the lack of intimacy in your relationship?
Have you tried romancing her? Why not suggest you attend relationship counselling together. This awful situation must be getting you both down and sometimes it can take talking to an outsider to kick start things agin.
Please tell me more about your situation, as I feel you need to explore deeper issues and I am interested in why this stalemate occured in the first place.
Look forward to hearing from you.x
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female
reader, willywombat +, writes (28 January 2006):
It can be hard for a woman to have sex if she feels that she isn't loved or respected by her partner. Maybe your wife has unresolved issues that she feels unable to discuss with you? Have you tried to talk with her about the reasons for the lack of intimacy in your relationship?
Have you tried romancing her? Why not suggest you attend relationship counselling together. This awful situation must be getting you both down and sometimes it can take talking to an outsider to kick start things agin.
Please tell me more about your situation, as I feel you need to explore deeper issues and I am interested in why this stalemate occured in the first place.
Look forward to hearing from you.x
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