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male
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*odrog
writes: I am 36 years old and have been married for five years and have three kids. My wife is five years older then me. My question is that over the last three years I think we have maybe made love only twice and when I try and initiate things I get the cold shoulder.When I ask her what is wrong she says it's her and not me, but does not want to discuss it any further. I love her very much but do not know what to do. Please give me some advice. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2006): You have been married five years and have three children.
Could it be that she doesn't want to have any more?
Even though you both love your kids, three in five years is a lot to cope with.
You need to talk to her.
A
female
reader, Juliette  +, writes (6 August 2006):
 I have been in this situation and one of the things that put me off more was every attempt to show affection seems to turn into a demand for sex. I can rationally see that a man would want to do this, especially if his need is in this direction, but even though I was in my 30s I didn't know how to enjoy sex. It may help if you can be affectionate, but avoid the sex for a while so she doesn't think that every touch has an ulterior motive. It could work the other way when she realises you are not appearing to just want her for sex, in fact the absence of it may turn her on. Also women can take an eternity sometimes to get aroused, so if yu press the right buttons she may ask you!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (6 August 2006):
 Making love is a cornerstone in any marriage. She owes you an explanation. You can't fix the problem if you don't know what's broke so get her talking. Good luck.
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