| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my wife for 14 years. we married close to 2 years ago. She no longer wants to have any physical contact with me. I hug her now and then, kiss her goodbye for work and at times initiate sex only to be pushed away or even kicked or slapped, nothing hard but it is not gentle either. She says she is not interested in sex anymore since she is too tired. This does not make any sense to me since she can get up after 3 hours of sleep and go to the gym and then work out again at home.I have asked her point blank if she is seeing, or interested in other men or women. The response is the same every time. No no no.This seems all too common, I feel as if i am bending over backwards to please her. I feel like I am being taken for granted of. Our son (who is not biologically mine) 14 of 15 years i have been in his life, seems to me to be mentally stable enough that if we chose to go our separate ways he would adapt to it well enough.I hate the way i feel in this relationship, she can spend days in the same house with me and unless i talk to her she will not even so much as glance at me.I am dieing here. any type of response is welcome
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2010): Simply tell her that you are not willing to live without sex. She (and you) either gets help with this situation or she leaves so you can get on with your life. If she refuses to address the problem then get a lawyer.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2010): You guys have been married for quite a long time and it's quite normal for your wife to feel a little bit bored. Women are not like men, they need a lot of touching and kissing eventhough you are not making out whereas men are all visual. Are you the type who's rushing sex without giving a long enough foreplay for your wife? Or are you a hard hitter type which doesn't make her enjoy? Try to create intimacy with your wife, I'm sure she'll change. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, wearywife  +, writes (11 June 2010):
i am like your wife. my husband and i married 2 years ago and i find myself pushing him away. There is really nothing you can do at this point. sounds like an inner anger that she has. if you two have ever had any problems regarding porn or anything like that. or even if u have called her names during fights it sounds like she holds it in. in order for things to get better she has to decide to change her thinking and let go of the past. if she chooses not to, consider it the end of the relationship. i hope this helps good luck.
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A
female
reader, Myrrh  +, writes (11 June 2010):
 Hello. If there havent been any major problems between you, apart from this. Then maybe she is just no longer attracted to you but enjoys the security of being with you. Being slapped or kicked away ISNT a normal healthy relationship. I would ask her if there is any chance she will ever welcome your attentions again. If she answers in the negative and you need a sex life, you will have to separate or have an open relationship.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (10 June 2010):
 Sometimes a person becomes distance and its not because there is a cheating spouse, but because they have lost interest for one another. Your wife is the one distant from you have you tried to fancy her again. Sometimes couple get so use to the same routine that a person might find him/her self bored. Before you consider a split try talking to her and try your rekindle your relationship. You might also want to try a marriage counselor, give it a try.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): Sounds like there is more going on here. Either she is cheating on you or just doesn't love you anymore.
My suggestion is not to do anything anymore. Nothing to help her. Period. If she works out so much I'm guessing she's in good shape and keeps that figure to attract attention. (cheating)
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