A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My wife is 4 yrs. younger than I am. Since she's gotten pregnant (again, 2nd baby now), our sex life is terrible. I feel like I have to nearly beg. She says 'okay', but then later on says "I'm too tired" or "let's do it later on". Later on never comes. I feel like I have a roommate rather than a wife. I've talked to her about it time and time again, but it's always an excuse or something comes up. I'm tired of excuses and my mind is starting to wonder (strip clubs, Porn, possible affair, etc...). I'm not sure what to do. Help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): I'm sorry for what your going through and pregnant women are difficult. They either love to have sex or don't want any at all. What always worked for was when my husband would be romantic, you know, set the "mood". Pregnant women feel undesirable and sometimes need an esteem boost. Buy her something nice, rent a movie, don't stay up to late before "trying". Take a shower with her, message her. Thing like that make a women feel special. Let her know that you love her and don't be shy to try new things with her. Hope things get better for ya'll, don't give up just yet, maybe she just need to have her baby get a sitter and go to a nice hotel or something. Good luck!
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (2 October 2008):
 She's pregnant - she's probably all hopped up on the hormones. However, like all the other ladies have said, to rev up your wifes sex drive, you need to get into the drivers seat and start working for it. Sometimes it takes a little extra effort - so I mean really work at it. Show her that you care.
If you have some extra cash in the bank, get her a day at the spa and when she comes home, the house will be beautifully sparkling (still have $$ and no drive to clean? Hello housekeeper service). Dinner made, a little token of your affections...
If you don't have the cash, you can do a little tidying yourself, draw her a bath, light some candles, plug in a CD player with her favorite CD. Give her a massage, kiss her back... you get the idea.
If she just wants to cuddle and go to sleep that night, LET HER. Don't make her feel like she owes you anything. But, keep up your genuine concern and love for her. Give her kisses just to kiss and eventually that'll lead to more of that steamy goodness.
She needs to feel like a woman being courted. She probably just feels pregnant and icky.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2008): Your wife is pregnant again! You make her pregnant remeber!!!! Mayb you should try not to make her pregnant. Cow!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2008): Sex is very important in a relationship. It's not the be all end all but it is necesary - for both members! Being a mother is more tiring than you can imagine. I have 2 boys 3 and 5 years old! My goodness beats a day in the gym. My suggestion is to help her as much as possible and make her feel special. After a baby, most of us have shifted body parts and don't feel as attractive. Bring her flowers, take her to dinner. Recreate the intimacy you had before the children. Women tend to tie emotion with sex. Its not easy when a lady looks in the mirror and doesn't see the old self... be with her. Don't head straight to the sex question, pamper her and let the imtimacy naturally return. If all fails try counselling. I love sex but my husband really has gone through some tight moments in between the two boys. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2008): Don't go down the affair or strip club route. I have no ideal what goes through a woman body while she's pregnant, if her hormones are playing up. But I know, if you cheat on your wife while she's pregnant and needs you, well your a big slime ball and she'll proeprly leave you.
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