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My husband walked out but came back a few months later. Can I trust him now?

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 September 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 6 September 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *ickie writes:

my husband left me in january. just walked out. i beged and beged and he would not come back. 3 month later after he lived the single life he come back only to tell me he had one night stand about a year ago i was truley heartbroken. then he tells me he had a one night stand when we were seperated. we been back together 4 month and all i think about every day is what he done. we talked about it and he just keeps saying get over it i love you, i not do it again i have no one else to talk to and it really killing me inside thinking will he do it again. i dont want to lose him, i worship the floor he walks on. we have 3 kids together and 1 is always poorley as he has heart defects. please help do you think he loves me will he do it again he promised he wont xx

View related questions: heartbroken, I love you, one night stand

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2007):

There is no such thing as forgive and forget. You need to forgive him so that you can move on, but you will never forget. Don't get me wrong, forgiving doesn't mean you have to stay with him, it just releases you from the situation and allows you to move on. If you decide to stay with him you must try not to think to much about it. You thoughts control your moods. You must learn to control your thoughts. My husband has been sleeping with prostitutes for the last 3 years. He is abusive, and he has made some very serious threats towards our two young children if I ever leave him. So I am stuck here for the moment, until I come up with a good plan, I hate being with him. So I offer you this advice through experience, try hard to keep it as far out of your mind as possible. the trust issue, I knon people go councelling etc. but personally I think once its gone its gone. Good Luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007):

I think if i was you i wouldn't have this jerk back if he paid me a million pounds. Sorry, i know this is not what you want to hear, but get rid of this idiot, he will never provide you with a loving and trusting relationship. It will never happen. You do deserve so much better.

take care

xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007):

Unfortunately the fact that he had a one-night stand will always bother you. At times even something unconnected will remind you of this!

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A female reader, flower girl United Kingdom +, writes (5 September 2007):

flower girl agony auntBabe relationships are built on trust, and i know you are hurting as i have been through the same thing, but he is back with you now and that should be all that counts.

If however you can not forgive and forget what has happened then there is no hope for you as a couple what so ever because it will probably get used as a tool in future arguements.

Maybe you could try counselling to see why this happened in the first place if you are finding it hard to get past.

If you really love him, as hard as it is you really do need to move on from this and get on with the rest of your lives.

Take care.xx.

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