A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I need some advise! I've been with my wife for 20years married for 16. Right now she is involved in a relationship with another women for over a year, I've known about this from day one, It was orginally gonna be the three of us and it was, but now its just the two of them and my wife tells me she is in love with her.. she also tells me she still loves me and she would never leave me for her! We fight all the time about her and i also gave her an ultimatum, her or me. she then started to pack her bags and said she would rather live alone. and if i said anything to the other women or do anything to jeopardize their relationship she would leave me and hate me, never to talk to me again.. we have 2 kids together and i love her more then anything she is the world to me.I really confused and don't know what to do?? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, lostinloveandidontknowmuch  +, writes (25 October 2010):
My wife left me for the other woman. the other woman died. no i have to live with her inmortal greatness. yes i an bitter at times, but I think i have some good advice for you. expect nothing. women blame it all on you. love her like you never have before no mater what. it hasnt worked for me yet. but if you truley love her it all you can do. cant talk any more. my wife is mad at me for not doing enuff. today is the day her lover died 2 years ago. good luck. love hard!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's not like I really had a choice! or did I? If i never agreed to play along she might of did it behind my back!!!
But too late now, it seems that i have a decision to make. Thanks to everyone for all the advice. And i think i'm going to just say goodbye to her before i have a mental breakdown. Guess we'll just have to see how it plays out.
...............................
A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (21 October 2009):
 The ultimatum was good.
BUT...
You invited disaster even allowing this woman into your life. By allowing this to go on you sealed your own fate.
So now she will either accept it or won't.
...............................
A
male
reader, called Steve  +, writes (20 October 2009):
 Emotional Blackmail is a nasty thing isnt it...By calling her bluff I think you did the right thing, you dont deserve to be held over a barrel for the rest of your life whilst she east her cake with one hand and still holds onto it with the other! How selfish is that?I think you were mad to play along with this third person scenario as they do have a tendency to backfire... but hey-ho, you made up your mind now so good for you.I hope it turns out really good for you, with or more than likely without this woman... try to move on the best you can!Steve
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (20 October 2009):
She's got you trapped. A loving woman wouldn't do this to you and you know it really. Call her bluff and dump her. Either she will go wit this other woman, in which case she didn't love you. Or she'll stay and try to work things out. Don't let yourself be treated this way when there could be another woman out there who will commit to you and not treat you so disrespectfully and shabbily. Be brave. Do you want to be second best for the rest of your life?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe hasn't left me YET. we are still together right now, like you said she has her cake an eating it to. i'm just don't know if i should actulally call her bluff or not, because if she does leave me i will be crushed. I know life goes on but its not that easy,I havent been with many women before and been out of the dating seen for so long i wouldn't know where to begin, I really do love her and want our marriage to work,but its getting harder and harder to be with her without an arguement comming up from me saying things about the other woman. sometime i feel like just telling the other woman to get lost but if i do that my wife will leave me,not for her but just leave cause lets just say i have some dirt on the other woman that would break them up, angain if i do then i loose her.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (20 October 2009):
this woman has been having her cake and eating it, and you called her bluff. Good. Because you now truly know where you stand with her. She's basically left you anyway, so unless she is willing to come back and give this woman up, then she doesn't love you enough. This sounds like it's over. Don't ler her blackmail you and hurt you like this. Because that's what she's doing to you.
...............................
|
