A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi, first timer here.I am on a business trip to Japan. I am taking some guided tours with colleagues in my spare time. It has been interesting to explore the different culture here. I've never been before.I have always been an avid photographer. I enjoy taking picture whenever I travel, when I am on business, or with my wife and family on vacations.I think I have landed in some hot water with my wife over some pictures I took this week in Japan. I have taken pictures of women in Japan I have seen on the streets during my tours or excursions in Tokyo. I photographed a few in kimono's at the tourist areas near the Temple. I also photographed young women in anime attire (the "in" thing here) walking down the street, as I thought the clothing was different and unique. I thought she might want to see it as women are so into clothes and my wife is no exception. And as a joke, I photographed a sign for a massage parlour in downtown Tokyo with scantily clad women on it.I sent the pictures to my wife. She was not happy at all. She seemed upset that I was taking these pics. I am a tourist. And I was photographing all sorts of things. Not just women. And I might add, the pictures of women were few compared to my many of sumo wrestlers, temples, the city scape, fish market, store fronts and so on. I thought they were culturally different and there were no sexual undertones involved. They were just pictures!!! But my wife felt a little jealous I believe. She accused me of being turned on by these women and having a good time there without her.How am I supposed to handle this? Did I actually do something wrong? She is giving me the cold shoulder.
View related questions:
jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2018): My wife retaliated by telling me she would be sending me photos of the buff, hot young fellows at her gym!!!! Sheeeesh!!!!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2018): I am the poster. I forgot to add never once did I photograph any one woman in particular. They were women in crowds walking in the streets of Tokyo. There were men in the photos too. I took a pic of a female elevator operator in a dept store as it was unusual. Also took a pic of a lady in a kimono (her job) for my son as he likes kimono's. Just for tourism purposes.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2018): Thanks for the comments everyone. I'm the poster who asked the question. My wife is gorgeous and 15 years my junior. She is used to having all my attention and the attention of ALL men. I think she would like to be the only beautiful woman on the planet. Just so you know the photos were taken amongst other tourist attractions and they were of crowds on a street.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2018): Your wife is acting like a teenager. An unattractive, insecure teen chick.
If you reward her behavior with apologies and gifts....rest assured you
will receive more of this childish b.s..
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2018): Hmmm. I must be missing something. I read your post and thought what an over reaction on your wife's part. If my boyfriend went to Amsterdam and took a photo of the streets where the prostitutes are (not that I expect you're allowed to, but just as an example), interspersed with photographs of canals and windmills and tulips, then I would assume that they were taken, because it's part of the culture there. Just as your photos were interspersed with other photographs depicting the culture in Japan. I mean why on earth would you take photographs of scantily clad women on a massage parlour sign and then send them to your wife, if you HAD been there and had a massage with a happy ending? Now THAT makes no sense. I seem to be the only one, but if you were having a high old time there without your wife, then I think the last thing you would do, would be to send her photographs of it all. I'm trying to take the point about not photographing young women in the street, but if they are done up in what would amount to fancy dress here and that is part of the culture, then I don't r..e..a..l..l..y get it. So, if a crowd of young women in this country were dressed in amazing fancy dress, taking their picture is perving? Really? I seem to be the only one in your corner, but it seems to me that you took these pictures and expected them to be received in the same spirit as they were taken. In an innocent, 'look where I am and I want to share it with you' spirit. Otherwise it just makes you a sadistic cheater who wants to torment his wife with photos of what he's been doing, whilst she's back home. And that sounds ridiculously far fetched to me. What to do about it I don't know other than to show her my answer, because it seems to me that her reaction is immature and insecure. And I would say something else. I am pretty insecure at times, but if my boyfriend sent me these pictures, I would NOT be thinking that he was indulging in any of it, just trying to share the experience he is having.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 September 2018):
 Urgh. I can see where your wife is coming from. One would not need to be rabidly jealous and insecure to be cheesed off by your choice of photo subjects. I have two young nieces and when they were even younger they were into anime attire too- (although never worn in the streets, but at cosplay events or house parties with friends ). And the idea of some unknown old geezer taking such an interest to the point of wanting to take pictures (… without even asking them first , I suppose ? ) mmmhh… I would not be thrilled. Neither the parents would be, as Honeypie says.
Plus- " la lingua batte dove il dente duole " ( the tongue always turns to the aching tooth ", and you can come up with any number of sociocultural explanations about your choice of subjects, but, as a Sunday painter :) I have noticed time and again that WHAT we choose to portray, with a camera, a pencil or a brush etc., says a lot about us and about what's on our mind and in our hearts. I have a friend who is a passionate dog lover , she went to Brazil and 30 % of the pics she took over there were of dogs . Stray dogs, purebreed dogs, all sort of dogs. We were all like, come on , you go to Brazil with all the extraordinary, unusal things and sights that there are, and you take a ton of pics of dogs ??. As if we did not have any in our country .
But, of course- she is a person who think dogs, so she will photograph dogs.
I guess your wife could not help wonder what do you have in mind, if , among all the many things which can symbolize Japan to a Western eye, you chose scantily clad young women.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 September 2018):
 I find it hilarious that you pretend to be this dense.
Of all the GORGEOUS stuff you COULD take pictures off, you CHOOSE to take pictures of young women, massage parlor signs... Because you claim that your wife could be interested in their costumes, the type of clothes teen girls and young women in their 20's wear... Is your wife into Anime? Design? Would she ever dream of wearing any of that?
Sure...
I get the women in Kimonos, because that is what many Westerners associate with Japan. And she is dressed in a costume for the PURPOSE of being photographed. Random girls on the street aren't. If you had a daughter that age (teen/early 20's) would you want other OLD guys to to take their picture. I can tell you this, I rather they don't do that, no matter how fashion forward my daughters might be dressed.
It tells a LOT more about you than her.
Had it been my husband I would honesty question him why he is perving on these young women he doesn't even know.
It does surprise me though that you wife would get upset, you sound like a guy who is lacking a little in the manners department. She ought to be used to it by now.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2018): It isn't as bad as everybody's making out here. But yeah she clearly took it the wrong way and sounds like she's jealous you being over there and she's back home and rightly so too. Just explain to her it meant nothing and remember to bring her a nice gift back!!
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (24 September 2018):
 Come on, sir. You KNOW you have overstepped the line, sending your wife photos of massage parlour signs.
How about you suggest you take her there for a holiday sometime (if that's possible) so that she can see for herself what a lovely place it is?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2018): What a strange thing to do . Would you also find it equally as innocent if your wife were on vacation alone somewhere like California or elsewhere where men do body building and sent you photos of young studs in tiny g strings flexing their muscles or pucyores of males strip joints and gigilo services ( yes they sure do have them for women
With some very hot men much younger than you state your age )
How would that make you feel?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2018): [EDIT]
Correction:
"Why would you think your wife would find it funny for you to photograph a massage parlor with scantily clad women?"
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2018): Here's your problem:
"And as a joke, I photographed a sign for a massage parlour in downtown Tokyo with scantily clad women on it."
All of your subjects are women in your photos. Yes, there were sexual undertones; and you have a weird sense of humor. Why would you think your wife would find it funny for you to photograph and massage parlor with scantily clad women?
Did you do something wrong? Duh?!!
Yes, and you better bring home lovely flowers, a mouth full of apologies, and something expensive from Tiffany's or a fine jeweler! Your in big trouble! HUGE!!!
...............................
|
