A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My wife found a dirty website on our computer and thinks it was me that looked on it but it wasn't. She is going mad at me and says its like cheating. Even if i did look at other girls in that way is it classed as cheating? Is my wife over reacting? Why doesn't she trust me? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): learn to delete your browsing history
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007): Well how would you feel if your wife looked at dirty web sites of naked hot guys behind your back? Would you be angry? Would you feel like that's cheating? Or would you feel totally peachy about it and run out and buy her an ice cream cone?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2007): hello, is there others in the house that could of looked at the website? Also, to answer your question YES, it is cheating if you are looking at naked women, Don't you think???? huh. I must say I can't belive how many men are outthere that says there is nothing wrong with looking at websites like that!! Maybe you should talk with your wife let her know that you were not looking at this site!!and if you were and caught again I would get rid of YOUR computer!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2007): I think that your wife should trust you! I dunno why she doesn't, but there isn't really any advice to give for this. And your quesion bout even if I did look at girls in that way is it classed as cheating?; yeah it is because any man who looks at another woman has already commited adultery with her in his heart.
...............................
A
female
reader, Je2157 +, writes (8 August 2007):
Hey, pop ups do occur and can be annoying. I know you said that you didnt look at that website, well even if you did then so what! You are married and dedicated to your wife and humans are not machines in which they only have feelings for one person only throughout their whole life. All men look at porn sometime in their life. Hope all goes ok. Je2157
...............................
A
female
reader, TaylorChu  +, writes (8 August 2007):
 Interesting answers. Any attention (of the romantic kind)given to another woman that truly belongs to your wife is cheating. That is how women see it and feel it. I totally understand you when saying you didn't look at the website. People need to understand that there are "pop under" advertisements and false advertisements which switch you over to disgusting websites. There are horrible folks out there who just want porn up in your face and to look at the naked bodies of individuals. This is wrong and sometimes your PC can get hijacked by this and it is the most unnerving thing (can you tell this has happened to me? And I am a woman!!)
I get those slutty websites once in a while and sometimes it is just from research or social websites. If your wife is still listening to you, tell her about this. She must know that you would not cheat on her and crap like this pops up on people's PCs all the time even when they are not aware of it. I don't know if that will smooth things over or not but do give it a try.
I also recommend getting some pop up blockers. I personally use Peer Guardian 2 from Phoenix Labs. Many search sites have pop up blockers like Yahoo and Google, I believe. Also, check out Window Washer. It empties out your temp folder where malicious things like to live. Cookies stored on your PC can also give away information about sites you visit and also pull in advisements you sure aren't looking for.
Again, tell you wife you didn't go to such a website. Explain to her that when on the internet crap like porn sites and revealing girl pages or even download sites all get on the PC one way or another unless there is protection against it. Then SHOW HER you installing protective programs on your computer and any research you come across on how ads creep on your pc. Also, explain to her how they work so she knows too how they function and what those programs are doing. One example of how ads are already trying to grab your attention is by looking at Google after a search. They all in some way correspond to what you typed in. That's what happens when a multitude of stuff or other advertisements have crossed your screen. Whatever is stored on your PC is read and pulls in more (HENCE deleting cookies and that temp file).
I hope what I said helps you and your wife with what is going on and that you can get programs on your PC that helps get rid of garbage like porn from ever residing on your computer.
...............................
A
female
reader, Unique1 +, writes (8 August 2007):
Hey,
I H-A-T-E the fact that my bf wtched porn. I was probably very similar to your wife if not worse. However, it took me and him time to realize that every once in a while he will do it. It is what most guys do. Now even if you did look at it and it trully is ONCE IN A WHILE, you should get her to accept it. As everyone lese said, who else could look at these sites so it got stored on your pc?
I personally don't think if a guy looks at porn it is cheating because it is a movie... If you watch it together, are you both cheating then (because there is a guy and girl there)?
So, try to talk to her and if you did not look at it tell her that as well as that she needs to trust you and that you wouldnt lie to her. Us ladies want reassurance at times.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2007): Men just don't get it - watching/looking at porn, is cheating of the heart. So yes it is cheating. I am ready to leave my husband because of this. I want to give my heart to someone who gives me their heart faithfully.
...............................
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (8 August 2007):
 Hi
Tricky one because if to her its cheating then it is!
Everyones got different bounderies in their own relationship & if somethings not a problem to them, its not a problem. Vise versa.
Anyone else that could of looked on that web site?
Pop ups can register in history, that havent even been clicked on.
But i wouldnt mind if a guy was looking at porn on the net. I would mind if they were chatting to all and sundry on chat sites though.
You 2 need to talk about whats exceptable. And why she doesnt trust you. Only she can tell you that.
Good luck
C xxxx
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2007): ok so if it wasn't you who else could it be? Try looking at it from her point of view, would you like her going on websites looking at men.
She is not over reacting because she isn't comfortable with it, maybe you should just try to convince her because it could of just been a pop-up or something. She probably doesn't trust you because she doesn't feel good enough anymore.
Good Luck with her. I'm sure if you really didn't look at the website you'll be able to convince her and tell her you would never look at them websites or something.
...............................
|
