A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My wife has recently become excessively jealous of the women I work with.I'm not jealous of her socialising with other guys - far from it - so I don't get why she's like this.She seems to think I'll sleep with any other woman in sight - even though I'm loyal and kind.Also, the women are in their early 40s and either in long-term relationships/married and to me, they are friends only. My wife can't accept that.She even refused to let me go out with the guys to watch a football match, thinking that I'd be getting off with other women.Now she expects me to wear a T-shirt at the beach to stop other women gawping at me.She was never like this before now. I tried finding out why but she used a string of abusive language at me.This seems odd, and I feel like I've got no way out, so what do I do?Craig
View related questions:
I work with, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2009): Sorry about this but an ex twice cheated on me. This is exactly how she used to behave.
A
female
reader, noonespecial2  +, writes (10 July 2009):
I would never bring up the fact that you are not jealous of her, this will not be of any use.
She is obviously feeling insecure at present. You need to find out why. Being insecure is not nice. We all have our insecurities and this is her one at present.
If she believes you are being inappropriate with other women, don't make excuses or justify your behaviour. Go with the flow, tell her something like, "hearing how it looked, I can understand why you would be upset with that, I'm sorry you are feeling that way".
If this is not her usual position, you must understand that something is making her insecure. Being insecure is a terrible feeling and jealousy is even worse as you fear loosing someone you love.
Understand that she is trying to protect herself and her relationship with you.
She is your mate and needs you right now. Whatever you do, don't get mad with her, it will only make her more suspicious.
It's up to you, but you may like to refrain from socialising as much with females at work for the time being and invite her to the footy matches.
Most important, spontaneously tell her what she means to you, the things you like about her appearance and character. Give details and tell her what she means to you and how you would feel if you lost her. This will go along way.
If you know that you are loyal and not doing anything wrong then you have nothing to defend and you must see that this is her issue that she needs your support with.
With your support, she may well open up to you and tell you her deepest fears and secrets and it is then that you both together can resolve the issue underlying this.
...............................
A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (4 July 2009):
 Perhaps it's depression. I see you tried to talk to her once before, but I think it's worth another try to see what is wrong. If she won't talk to you, maybe she will talk to a marriage counselor?
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2009): Well, I can't quote directly on here, but I'll have a go...
---
Originally posted by QuirkLady
Hmm. I would be concerned as well. It sounds like she may be projecting her issues onto you or she may be cheating on you.
Has she gotten any strange phone calls lately? Been spending blocks of time somewhere else or suddenly had to work a lot of overtime? Has she been working out more and looking different?
---
No. She's been looking terrible lately, and overeating, binging on crisps, chocolate, Diet Coke, and becoming fatter by the day, and wearing tracksuits.
She doesn't seem to spend much time anywhere else other than the usual 9-5 workday routine, and then spending all her time at home eating.
Craig
...............................
A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (3 July 2009):
Hmm. I would be concerned as well. It sounds like she may be projecting her issues onto you or she may be cheating on you.
Has she gotten any strange phone calls lately? Been spending blocks of time somewhere else or suddenly had to work a lot of overtime? Has she been working out more and looking different?
...............................
|
