A
male
age
51-59,
*arianovolpe
writes:I've been married for 3 years. This is my second marriage. I do love wife very deeply and she loves me. She has had many previous sex partners (around 25) and we met each other when she was 40.There is something I can not get over: She does not reach orgasm through intercourse with me. She says that she has not "practically" had orgasm of that type before. I think that she is trying to minimize the thing because she loves me so much. The thing is that I feel myself very bad because I am not able to cause her those orgasms (she always have them during the foreplay through oral sex). Despite this, she tells me over and over that it does not matter and that she does enjoys our sex life but I am very sad. Also she has recognized to me that I am small in comparison of the majority of her previous sex partners (I am 5.5 inches). Please, some advise?
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foreplay, oral sex, orgasm, sex life, vagina Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Marianovolpe +, writes (3 January 2013):
Marianovolpe is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMany Thanks!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2013): I am super happy with having orgasms via oral or with hubby's hands. I have never orgasmed while having sex and am super fine with it. As long as I do somehow I'm good. Your wife is good hun.
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A
male
reader, Marianovolpe +, writes (31 December 2012):
Marianovolpe is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, thank you very much for your answers; evidently I had a wrong idea. I spend a lot of time in oral sex and she always has an orgasm, so...ok. I will let it go.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (31 December 2012):
 Vaginal orgasms.. MEH... if i never have one I'm fine with it.
the ones that blow my mind are the ones from manual or oral stimulation of my clitoris.... you can have a hard on for an hour and pump away and i'm going to get bored...
spend the 15-20 minutes with a good set of oral skills and I'm in heaven.
change your stinkin thinking OP.... it's not about what SOME women say or other women say... it's about what YOUR WIFE SAYS... the only two people that matter in your sex life are YOU and YOUR WIFE....
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (31 December 2012):
 "Because many women told me that orgasm trough oral sex is great, but orgasms trough intercourse are amazing."
Really? Because that's the opposite of what I've heard and experienced. I can have orgasms from penetration. They are mentally a little better, maybe, because it's kind of a novelty to do it at the same time as your partner, but physically just do not compare at all.
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A
male
reader, Marianovolpe +, writes (31 December 2012):
Marianovolpe is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI an the OP. Well, when she says "practically" I understand that she has had few vaginal orgasms with others. Why I am so concerned about this? Because many women told me that orgasm trough oral sex is great, but orgasms trough intercourse are amazing. Therefore, I feel inadequate for my lack of that skill. Many Thanks
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2012): It's not clear in your original post that she had vaginal orgasms before you. Its says she practically never had them with other men also.I m not sure what that ,practically, means, but this impression a reader has that she never had them before you also.You look at her having vaginal orgasms as some kind of accomplishment.I don't understand why? What difference does it make to you how she has an orgasm. The important thing she has them. I 've had quite a bit of lovers in my life. Only 2 men out of all of them made me orgasm: one was my very short lived boyfriend of 2 months, and Another is my husband. Its only because other men insanely believed that women must orgasm from intercourse. When I actually told one guy that I don't come with him, he actually didn't believe me, he was sure that I do, and for some mean reason want him to feel bad. I really was very surprised over the years discovering that very few men know how to relax and please a woman, some lovers that I had wouldn't even touch me with their fingers, forget oral, and go inside of me after just kissing on a lips.Be happy that you know what to do with your woman, she is happy, she has her orgasms, it makes No difference from what.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 December 2012):
OP, I don't know if it helps but from what I know it's not about the size of a man's penis it's more about the curve... if it curves and rubs her in the right spot then it's going to work.... smaller is better in my opinion as it rarely hurts to have intercourse with a smaller penis but it often hurts with a large one.
Now on to this whole vaginal orgasm you dream of.... I have had ONE in my entire life.... BFD.... BUT a man who is willing to perform oral on me till I orgasm is worth his weight in platinum. I would rather have a known orgasm through oral than seek an elusive one from intercourse....
I understand the whole competitive feeling about "I can make the bitch come" attitude that men have.... sadly it's misplaced..... Just like your wife is not responsible for YOUR orgasm you are not responsible for hers. The fact that you are such a great lover that she's having them is WONDERFUL and I do not for a single second think she is lying to you when she says you are the best and she is content.... I know I would be.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2012): CHANGE POSITIONS!
Over a counter, on top of a table, angle her..... My bf did this where he sort of stood on the bed and made me almost stand on my head. It on a lot of pornos so .. :D That one is very good too... Get ideas from erotic websites on different positions.
Maybe you can be a different guy and bring her and make her SQUIRT! Read about female ejaculation :D
Maybe use more toys, or use a toy on her while you have intercourse from behind in her behind! ;D
Most of all relax! One of the biggest turn ons is a guy!
MY bf is argentinian too :) asi que tranquilo querido ;) relajate! (relax my friend! :) )
/EnJOY! LIFE IS SHORTT!! PLAY AND GE CREATIVE :D
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (30 December 2012):
Dear OP,
Please believe your wife and the other posters. A lot of women don't come through intercourse and it's not because of penis size.
I can come through intercourse if there's some clitoral stimulation at the same time. If you want to come at the same time as your wife, here I found some advice:
http://www.drlauraberman.com/great-sex/orgasms/climax-together
As you can see, on this site there is also no mentioning of how to make a woman come through intercourse alone, simply because it's too difficult or impossible.
Also, the female body is even very difficult for its owner to understand. I once came through breast stimulation alone, but then never again. However I don't measure my lovers' qualities by being able to give me this kind of orgasm again.
Your wife seems happy so please recognize this problem is in your head alone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2012): It would beneficial for you if you do a little reseach on line, as it appears you know very little how a woman's body function when it comes to sex. You will discover that clitoris is like a penis in men. Most women, and not 75% how one answer here states, but almost a 100% of women dont reach orgazm through intercourse. A woman can reach orgazm during intercourse but only when clitoris is stimulated at the same time. It has absolutely nothing to do with your size at all. By the way 5.5 inches is a very normal size, believe me no woman wants something enormous get inside her:)
unfortunatelly lots of men know very little about female body. The main thing that a woman needs from a man is lots of patience. Guys know about givin a woman an oral sex, but most in my experience do it for literally a minute or two. And then goes insane rubbing of clitoris, that brings nothing only irritation in that area.
Patience, gentle touch, it will make your woman satisfied. Intercourse is nice too but dont go forever without stopping, it can be exausting.
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A
male
reader, Marianovolpe +, writes (30 December 2012):
Marianovolpe is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, I am the OP. I do know that most women don't vaginal orgasms, but the thing is that she has had them with other men, not frequently, but she had them. That's the reason I feel so bad about this. Why she had these orgasms with other (or others) and not with me? I never feel myself an insecure lover and now I do.
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A
female
reader, Madalo 1  +, writes (30 December 2012):
If it makes you feel any better, i cant achieve vaginal orgasms either. My current bf is the best lover ive ever had, he just cant get enough of giving me oral. And he also meks me orgasm through rubbing my clit. The only few times i orgasm when his penis is in is when he rubs against my clit with his tummy. But thats not a vaginal orgasm anyway even if its during intercourse. But i dont complain, he satisfies me completely.
Men need to get over the mentality that we feel the same way they feel during intercourse. Like previous poster said, a vagina IS NOT an inside out penis. Its the clit that feels great the way you feel when having intercourse, therefore pay more attention to it. Youre already doing great.
From this you can obviously tell that the size of the penis is irrelevant.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (30 December 2012):
Very few women have orgasms from intercourse. A vagina is not an inside-out penis, vaginas have very few nerve endings and are built for childbirth, not pleasure. 25-30% of women EVER have an orgasm that way. The rest do it the way your wife does.
Your wife sounds like she loves your sex life and like she's really enjoying herself. She's having lots of orgasms, who cares how she gets them? Oral sex for many women is equivalent to intercourse on the pleasure scale. It sounds like everything is fantastic on her end, there is nothing to improve on!
I don't know where the idea that men need to give women orgasms from intercourse comes from, but that is not a sign of a good lover. However, giving lots of oral sex? THAT'S a good lover. Relax! Sounds like she loves you and is really enjoying herself. Everything sounds great and 100% normal.
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