A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my wifes mother has terminal cancer and she has gone to be with her which is what i wanted for her to do. The only thing is that i feel that im out of sight out of mind i have an eye problem and could go blind with in 5 years started treatment but my wife never asks how they are going and if im ok am i been selfish Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank u so much for your answers iwill take it on board its good to get other peoples opinions
A
female
reader, DIE-romantic.  +, writes (27 July 2007):
 I agree with the previous answerers to be honest, although i do appreciate what you're going through, but her mum is dying and she may not have long left at all, so understandably she wants to spend her remaining time with her daughter. And i agree, once her mother's gone, shes gone forever. Cut her some slack? Shes in the middle and going through a rough time trying to come to terms with the fact shes about to lose her mother.xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2007): Your wife has the rest of your life to be with you, her mum is dying and wants to be with her in the precious last while she has; you are being very selfish. I'm sure you'll feel better when the poor woman is dead and you have your wife all to yourself again.
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A
female
reader, rockelle  +, writes (27 July 2007):
 I understand that you are going through some difficulties but I think you are being a bit selfish. Losing a mother is one of the hardest things that a person can live through. Please try and be a little understanding and supportive of your wife, you must know that this is a very difficult time for her also. Maybe you should go and visit with her for a short time,(if your situation permits) and offer her some support.It might be good for both of you, she needs you as much as you need her. She is going to be so grateful to you for being so understanding and caring that when she returns I am sure she will make up for all of the time you were apart.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (27 July 2007):
 Maybe your wife is also having a hard time choosing who she should be with at the moment. I think you should find the strength to wait.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (27 July 2007):
Yep, Beckto is so right.
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A
female
reader, Beckto +, writes (27 July 2007):
 I'm sorry that you're struggling with your sight. That must be so difficult and scary.
BUT, your wife can't be in two places at once. It seems like she went to be with her mother because she knows she's only got a limited amount of time to be with her -- to soak up her presence. After her mother is gone, she's gone forever.
You, on the other hand, are not dying. Yes, you're going through some *very* tough times now, but you're not dying. Please give your wife the support she needs to get through the death of her mother. If you two love each other, and have a good relationship, she'll come back and you two can work out some things.
Good luck, and hang in there.
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