A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: When my boyfriend does something that upsets me, and I try to talk to him about it, he always tells me that I am "over-reacting," and then doesn't understand why telling me that makes things worse. Am I being too sensitive? Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (9 December 2010):
It depends.
It's possible you're being too sensitive; it's also possible he's a lazy git who doesn't like dealing with "feelings." If he can't handle ever being told he did something wrong, it is a problem with him. I have met too many guys like this and it is like beating your head against the wall b/c they never take responsibility for anything.
At the very least he should hear you out and try to listen to what you're saying. If he can't do that, and he never bothers with admitting that he might be wrong, you are not with a man, you are with a child.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy +, writes (9 December 2010):
Depends on what it is that upsets you.
One of the thing to remember is that men are problem solvers, not talkers. Don't talk to us about your problems unless you want a solution.
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A
female
reader, apple89 +, writes (9 December 2010):
sometiems when u get to close to somoene u start feeling like everytime they arent as cearing or nice as they sually are u take it personal.. however in a relationship both should be capable of listening to each others needs and be able to understand where the other person is coming from. you need to talk about this with him and see if its you whos being sensitive or there are things he coudl change for the good of the relationship.
hopefully you guys can come with an agreement
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (9 December 2010):
I wont be able to know unless you tell us what it is you react to and how? I really think that if he tells you over and over that you are over-sensitive, that you have a huge communication problem. Because if this repeats itself it means he doesn't understand you, and you can't communicate with him. This will in the end leave you to have to deal with all your emotions and problems on your own, without his support, and can likely result in you resenting him for never listening to you.
But, if it is a few times now and then, perhaps you are over sensitive, in which case your boyfriend needs to talk to you about this and for you and him to reach an understanding of how to treat each other so you can stay happy. Compromise.
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