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male
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anonymous
writes: Wife has low sex drive and am thinking about an affair.I have a much higher sex drive than my wife and would like to have sex 2-3 times per week. In her perfect world 1-2 times per month would be better.I am very passionate and like for an encounter to last at least an hour. I beleive that sex is a chore for her and not something to explore and enjoy. This is something that we have battled over for the last few years and though I have tried to be patient and understanding, I am filling very unfullfilled in this area. All other areas of our marriage are fantastic, but I don't think I can hold out much longer. If I were single, my sexual fullfillment would increase astronomically. I am starting to realize why so many marriages fail. I love my kids, I love my wife, but I need sex with more variety and more often. Any suggestions.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, iamtired  +, writes (6 February 2007):
I am in the same situation as you. I love my wife or life and our 2 children. We are married almost 8 years and living together in total 13 years.My wife never had a sex drive. She tried a vibrator and it didnt evev work. PLEASE HELP SOMEBODY!!! My wife will not go for help, it would be too embarassing for her.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2006): I cannot answer your question. I am having the same problem with my boyfriend. I have an extremely high sex drive and ideally would want sex every day. We live together and only have sex once every few months. Perhaps we should get it on
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2006): Whatever you do, don't have an affair. If you need to, visit a hooker instead.
1. It's less expensive
2. You get the sex you ask for whenever you want it
3. She'll never ask you to leave your wife or phone you at inappropriate times
4. If your wife ever finds out, she'll know it was just for sex
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2006): Are you having to resort to porn because your wife doesn't satisfy your needs?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2006): are you using porn??? My husband was and it turned me completely off him sexually???
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A
female
reader, joeymac +, writes (10 September 2006):
i suggest that u don't pester or have a go at your wife regarding this as she may feel embarrassed and inadequate if you try to ridicule her. i think you should put up with it for a while longer and focus on other methods of showing her affection - don't even mention sex. when she knows that she is loved no matter what then she will feel more comfortable having sex, knowing that you are doing it to be close to her and enjoy how much you love each other together, not just because u have a strong male urge that u need to fulfill. good luck
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A
female
reader, Juliette  +, writes (10 September 2006):
 having an affair could destroy what you have and you should consider if it is worth the risk and hurt she would feel. I don't agree that every single man with a high sex drive goes with women either. It may not be your 'ideal' but you do know how to compromise to get the relief in between and it doesn't make you go blind! I would need to know if you have been able to speak to your wife about your needs. Does she have a clue? Does she know and disregard it? Also, whatever you deem as being 'patient' may not be addressing her needs and how you could improve her desire for sex. There are so many unknowns for advice to be relevant to your relationship.
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