A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys i need your advice. I am married since last 7 years. I am tall and with good physique. My wife has become overweight. Her belly has become very fat. She remain frustrated all the tiem. Has no charm in life. Go to job , come home , eat and sleep. She don't have any sex drive. My sexlife has become zero since last 2-3 years. I have very high sex drive. I am 34Y. I feel sexually frustrated. Though i love my wife, i want to get sexually involved with my coworker. She is also married and unsatisfied with her husband. She is very sexy and beautiful. On friday and saturday nights my wife goes out of station for official work. My coworker says she can come to my house every week on friday and sat to have fun with me.I have started fantasizing abut her. Should i proceed happily.
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co-worker, overweight, sex drive, sexually frustrated Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xanthic  +, writes (17 July 2010):
 'Proceeding happily' would be an incredibly selfish thing to do. You're still married, and she is as well.
The fact that you're even asking this question means you fully know it's not right. It doesn't matter how beautiful she is or how unhappy you are, you're both still technically spoken for.
Your wife could be suffering from depression. Speak to her about your concerns, let her know in a neutral and non-accusatory way that your emotional and sexual needs aren't being met. She may be unaware of how her actions make you feel.
Until that happens, don't go forward with anything with this other woman. Being unhappy is no excuse to cheat, it's up to both of you to take responsibility and file for divorce if you're really that unhappy with your marriage.
Either way, you can't have both women. Nothing will ever justify it, no excuse will ever make it acceptable. What if the situation was reversed, and your wife was the one looking elsewhere to have her needs met? You'd feel betrayed and hurt, I'm sure.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008): In a word YES 2 or 3 years with no sex, she must know that this is not a marriage and that everyone needs a loving sexual relationship, doesn't matter about her weight it does matter about the way she is treating you and expecting you to exect it, if its on offer elsewhere give her one more chance if she is not interested then she only has her self to blame....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2008): Proceed happily. Then, when (and not if) your wife that you love finds out you will be a single free man sooner than you thought possible. That way you can get it on with whoever you want - and this 'fat' woman will not haunt you anymore you poor thing. Alternatively you could be a decent person and not cheat and ask yourself perhaps why your wife is fed up, has put on weight and is working hard. Maybe she is sick and tired of life. Do you care? No.
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A
female
reader, Teacake +, writes (6 December 2008):
 This woman has suggested to come to your house? That is really a bitchy thing to do!
Tell your wife NOW about what you are thinking and that nothing has happened yet! She might feel motivated to get her figure back and have sex again. She might be picking up on your feelings of disinterest which might be making her depressed and closed off.
Save your marriage because if its just about her loosing some weight and have sex, that is a very easy thing to do. Give her the chance to do something about it before you make a huge mistake with a bitch.
In the end you will be alone, so is it worth it?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2008): NO! Just because your wife has put on weight doesnt mean it ok to cheat on her!
Have you ever thought she might be picking up on these vibes and maybe therefore she doesnt want to have sex with you!!!
Maybe if you treat her properly, show her some respect, and dont call her fat she will respond!!!
Then perhaps you guys can share the "charm in life" together and have a happy sex life.
Please dont ruin your 7 year marriage just because your co-worker is "sexy"
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A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (6 December 2008):
 In a word NO!!
I think you should try and work things out with your wife and tell her the truth, I am trying to work things out here, do you have children with your wife?
If so, weight can be piled on after childbirth or can be related to depression.
Has your wife suffered any loss over the last few years?
I know you just want to have sex with your co-worker but I think that this could all blow up in your faces. Your co-worker could wreck her marriage and the same could happen to you. Lies never work, believe me.
I was on the other end when my ex cheated on me and believe me when you are the one left with the child, it can have devasting effects for some years.
Go with your wife and suggest some counselling before you jump into bed with this other woman. If things don't work out at counselling, at least you can say that you have tried to resolve your issues. If things are not right in your marriage at least do the decent thing first and don't go behind your wife's back, at the end of the day YOU WILL get found out eventually.
Fantasies are one thing but taking it further means that you can NEVER turn the clock back afterwards. This co-worker is not playing fair with her husband either. Try and be honest and then if she is to, you have a clear way to take things further, however, once the truth is out it makes me wonder if the fear of being caught will be gone and maybe you wouldn't feel like you are right now which is the excitement factor that is making the lusting feelings more real for you both.
At the end of the day it is your call but if you are a parent think of what could happen to your children as well, if not, then why not try to see if your marriage can be saved and if not, then the world is your oyster.
Whilst you keep your wife in the dark, if you proceed you are getting your cake and eating it, on one side you have the sex with the other woman and you have the cosy home comforts from your home life with your wife. Make your own call on this but at least play fair to everyone concerned, and see if your co-worker would be as keen if she knew you were no longer the other married man?
Keep us posted eh!
BFN
Country Woman
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