A
male
age
51-59,
*igthoughts
writes:I have been away from my wife for 3 years now. we were together for 10 great years i thought. She had two kids before i met her, then we had a child to together.We had rough times here and there. From when we lost the house in a flood to losing my job because of work injuries. Well we argued on day and she threw me out.... I was out the house for a week. Then i decided to go back home and work things out with her. Only to walk in my room and find her cheating on me with a woman! I was broken, and i still am to this day, because she stated to me that she always felt gay but now the truth is out.. I'm a good hard working man who loves his family very much. I took my vows seriously and i miss her and want to work out the problems in our marriage. I thinks she does to....what should i do ??
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 December 2012):
 If she always felt she was gay and now is acting on it, then your marriage is over.
My aunt was married for many years and finally realized that to be true to herself she had to accept that she was a lesbian. She told her husband and while they never divorced before he died a few years later, he moved out, (their child was grown) and they stayed friends till his death. He had a new live in gf and my aunt had a partner... eventually that relationship broke up and she is now with her long term partner (recently wife due to law changes thankfully) for over 20 years.
IF your wife says she is gay, how do you expect to have a real marriage with her? You can't. better to let her go.
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (20 December 2012):
You can start working out your issues by calling a divorce lawyer.
She likes women, and that is clearly part of the problem. Its not likely to change back. Move on.
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A
female
reader, andrea p  +, writes (20 December 2012):
 Well I'm gay and my girlfriend left her childs father for me and now she's gay,from my point of view yourlz relationship is totally over,even if she had to take you back she would be still seeing women because that's what my girlfriend done,she went back to him and after a few days she ran back in to my arms,so I think you should just let go and worry about your kids
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A
female
reader, Jovian Erinys +, writes (20 December 2012):
 Many marriages have survived infidelity but both parties have to be honest about their feelings towards each other and work through healing together. Talk with your wife about what happened, how she feels about the marriage, and what her future plans are. Express how you feel about the situation, your plans, etc. and learn to engage and solve issues together, constructively.
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (20 December 2012):
 Marriage issues? She cheated, and even if you guys reconciled, she'd do it again because she knew that she could get away with it.
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