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age
41-50,
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writes: 5 years ago while i was in Iraq My wife (18years old) cheated on me and had a guy live with her while I was away. I too cheated out of resentment when I got back but have learned from my mistakes and never want to hurt her again (I admit I have screwed up plenty). Now 5 years later I found her camming with a guy online and also giving out our phone number to this man and talking about him coming and visiting while Im at work, (graveyard shift so what do you think they were talking about). My question is, Ive quit cheating and have treated her like a princess and we have a very Great sex life (twice a day atleast), but yet she still wants more and she has no idea why she keeps doing this or what she was getting out of it. "Is she always going to be a cheater? I dont believe in this once a cheater always a cheater bull shit, cause I cheated and learned from it. Should I get out or should I try and see if maybe one day shell change?
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female
reader, desperate_angel  +, writes (21 August 2008):
 well jeramy if thats the case your wife is encountering a sexual problem. but if you said that both of you have enough sex then whats the problem?do you have kids?if not she dont have some reason to be busy. both of you will focus on your baby and always remember in a relationship its not the SEX that will keep you united the LOVE and RESPECT to each other. speak to her honestly whats on your mind. what's bothering you. Repair your relationship before making a decision.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDesperate angel,
I dont know if i believe in the if you love each other we will work it out, because no matter how much I love her, thinking she can cheat again will not be worth it. Counceling is a good idea, I know she loves me, but for some reason craves attention of other guys and Like I said, We have sex atleast Twice a day, Im very good at it and have lots of stamina, I aim to please her at least twice before I get off Myself. What is the Problem. Is she maybe a SEX ADDICT (I am but only with her), maybe she needs to experience other guys and she got married too young? I dont know!
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female
reader, desperate_angel +, writes (20 August 2008):
okay if its the case then why not consult a marriage counselling in your country. If you really love each other no matter what happens both of you will always stick together. You have leave your job for her thats enough thing that you showed her your love. Another thing is if she really loves you she will respect your marriage and will not cheat you the same way as you are. Include your parents and inlaws when discussing this matter because atleast both of you will have the chance to listen to your folks. Life is too short dont waste it. Goodluck
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionRight now im not in the service anymore but only working 4 days a week and no more that 40hours. I give her lots of love and plenty of attention. Im a great looking guy with a love for staying fit, im sweet, caring and so much more (a great dad), but it still seems like im not good enough for her, but the reality is she is lucky to have someone like me, for when im gone, i know she will be begging forgiveness, but by that time it will be too late. Maybe we were just too young when we got married and now she wonders if she made the right choice, or if there maybe is something out there better? But once again, i know she will regret it, i know alot of guys and she wont find much better than me (if any) but maybe what she needs I cant give it to her. But yet when I talk about leaving her, she cries to no end and claims she loves me and that this will never happen again!, But, I have heard that too many times and only 2 weeks before this episode we had another, Its time to stop the pain.
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female
reader, desperate_angel +, writes (20 August 2008):
hi there, you have a common problem but i understand that its very painful. Your wife is very young but even though her age which is married its sad to say that she's still immature to handle loneliness while your gone. Its a very common situation all over the world. You both are tied legally and this matter should be discussed between you and her. Talk to her about this, listen to her. indifferences between couples always there especially when there's no enough time for each other. You have a tough job she should understand that. I believe that seving your country comes first above all right. In my experience, i do have a relationship before with a military guy but in reverse situation he's the one who lied to me about his status he's still married and not divorsed with kids. Afterall the lies, i still forgive him and let him go. I dont want his married gone into trash. I understand him a lot because his away from his family. Life is unpredictable you have to handle the worst. Think possitively that things will be alright soon between you and your better half. God bless!
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (20 August 2008):
 Hi mate,
your time apart when she was so young must have been a very lonely time for her.. and you of course!
So I guess she sought out the company of other men to fill the gap that was missing by your departure. It's a hard habit to break, and it looks like she cant do it at this time.
Even though you are home, your work is still interferring with your private life. Now I'm not suggesting you change jobs or anything like that, but it is obvious that while you are away your wife feels lonely and this is the thing that is causing all your problems.
If you truly love each other you should seek some counselling, a counsellor will be able to advise your wife what she can do to fill the gaps while you are not there. A hobby, friends etc.. not other men, basically she needs something to occupy her time.
If you can work at it, you can make the relationship work, but she will need to break this habit and for both of you to regain your trust in each other again.
It will be hard work, but if you both are committed there is no reason you cant overcome this.
Good luck.
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male
reader, LonelyButNotAlone +, writes (20 August 2008):
 First of all, I gotta thank you for your service in the military. I appreciate what you guys are doing. You have my utmost respect and gratitude.
As for your wife, it sounds likes she's being immature and fickle. Just because you've learned from cheating how it only hurts things, doesn't necessarily mean that she's learned.
I would talk to her about it and tell her you want it to stop now. If she claims it was nothing more than just innocent chatting, I'd suggest you move on. Your suspicions sound like they're right on the mark.
Forgiveness is important, but if this happened before and is starting to look like it will happen again, you don't need to put up with that.
I would also recommend you talk to a divorce lawyer and explain your situation before even bringing it up with your wife. He/she might have some good advice about this sort of thing. Absolutely.
Good luck, my friend.
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