A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 16 and I recently met this guy, he seemed so nice and sweet and now we are living together. He's 25 and he has a good job and a girlfriend but he tells me he doesn't love her. I used to live at home but like the knight he is, he rescued me from that. IN legal terms I was kidnapped but I don't think like that anymore. Yesterday, when we were sitting around talking he told me that as soon as I'm of age we'll get married and we'll move back to the u.s. but I'm not ready to get married yet and even though I love him deeply I just can't shake the feeling that he still wants to be with his girlfriend. My name is in his neck, so I know he loves me. What should I do? Should I tell him that I don't want to marry him or should I just grit my teeth and bare my doubts? Also, the reason I think he wants to marry me is because I told him I'm not having sex till I'm married. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (21 August 2008):
 Hi Hunny
Ok hunny I can see you dont wish to leave him, But dont let him pressure you into anything you dont wish to do if your not ready for marriage or sex then tell him love if he really does love you then he will listen and understand. It still worrys me that your parents dont no that your safe love they could be thinking the worst and going through such a terrible time, could you not at least let them no you are safe...And if things ever get out of control and you do feel unsafe let someone no so they can help you..The thing is why does he have to do things this way he must realise how worried your family will be he is old enough to know this.. You say he still has a girlfriend. Does she no of you? if you ever need to talk sweetheart message me anytime I'll be here to listen TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe's in love with me, I KNOW he is and technically im not a full virgin anymore. The things he does to my body. Know one should be able to that to you unless they truly mean it, not only that but it's in the way he kisses me and holds me. He gave me his mother's mauve ring yesterday and now he isn't in such a rush to work, he actually doesn't mind cuddling with me anymore. When we're on the couch and he's holding me I feel so loved and safe, I never ever felt that way at home. I'm always at the top of his list and you know what I never got that at home. I don't wanna leave .
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (20 August 2008):
Hi Hunny
This is very worrying, You talk of him kidnapping you so your parents dont no were you are sweetheart.. This sounds to me like a controlling siuation, He has a girlfriend he has taken you with him from your home you are a minor. I no your question was about not wanting to get married and if you should tell him sweetheart..To be honest Im more worried about your situation with this man, What he has done is against the law and your parents will be worried sick love..I dont feel that you can trust this man at all and Im going to ask you to contact your parents or any family member as your safety is of utmost importance..I dont want to upset you love, You dont want to marry him love from your post this is what I see you are unsure of things very much..."He seemed so nice and sweet" sweetheart please try and get intouch with your family let them no were you are. I feel this is a controlling situation that could turn abusive PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (20 August 2008):
 Honestly, I am really concerned for you..I don't want to offend you, but it tends to be characteristic of an abusive partner when he not only goes out with a minor, when he (clearly) can have someone his age, but also goes to extremes to show his love (the tattoo) and isolates a girl from her support network because then he has you to himself to do whatever he pleases. Think about it: if he reacts angrily, or god forbid, aggressively towards you in response to your resistance to marriage or sex, who can you go to if you're isolated from the people that can protect you or help you? Regardless of whether he physically hurts you he is very--too much--into controlling you:: he already a form of control through 'maturity' and 'experience' by his age, he has control over you by taking you away, and he plans to control your sexuality and when you will engage in it. Why are you allowing this to continue? you are killing your parents with fear and grief if you haven't contacted them. And I agree with you about him being focused on sex, I don't think he is someone to be trusted, because he has that girlfriend, how can he love you if he is two timing you, just because he's inked himself, that doesn't necessarily mean much. i would get out of this situation as quickly as you can before you get hurt, either emotionally or otherwise.
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