A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hello.My uncle has been touching me up around the chest area and i don't know what to do.He also keeps texting and asking to see me and offering me money.My Ex-Boyfriend has given me a few choices as follows.- Tell police.- Tell parents. (no f**kin way). It would rip my family apart due to another incident last may.- Anomous tip off.- Move and Leave Everything Behind.So any advice would be very helpful Thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2007): i am in this very same situation....i suggest that u go to someone that u know u can trust. like u i would never tell my parents they would flip and then it would b total chaos! So in this case i choose to turn to my doctor, shes is so helpful and makes me feel comfortable, she gives great advice and all...and if ur of age she wont even tell ur parents unless u say its ok... i have felt so safe since i told her.
A
female
reader, Saz464 +, writes (26 January 2007):
 This is rape.Do something about it, you are only 16!If you cannot tell your parents then tell a teacher or someone you can trust.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2007): It is not your fault. It is your uncle's fault. You did not ask him to touch you, and there is nothing about the way you are, or act, that made him think you wanted to be touched. The fact is there are some nasty people in the world that put there own desires before the feelings of other people and your uncle is one of those people.
You are not stupid to have let this happen, sometimes bad things happen that are not in our control.
Your uncle is likely to try and make you feel like noone will believe you. He will make you feel dirty, worthless, like you don't deserve as much respect as anyone else. These are all ways of keeping you quiet and making sure others don't realise that he is a pervert.
The best thing you can do is make sure you are never in a situation where your uncle can touch you again. You said you went to the police, and I do hope your family side with you. Whatever happens though, always remember the advice you read on here in that you did not cause or deserve any of this and that you are right for sticking up for yourself and if there is anyone who doesn't believe you then that shows a problem with themselves and it does not mean you are wrong. You as a human being have a right to not be touched inappropriately and if anyone breaks that it is their fault, not yours.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2007): Please DO NOT let your parents dicate your self-esteem. I can understand that you're weak and emotionally unrefined, but that is the case with most rape and sexual abuse cases for a lot of women (and some men). You have to try to shed your ideas that it's your fault. It's NOT your fault if your uncle has been inappropriately touching and doing sexual things to you. Unless of course, you initiated it, but you haven't said that here.
YOU NEED TO OPEN THIS CASE UP. Forget about your parents! NO ONE should say such inconsiderate things about you just so the parents can keep face. THAT IS DISGUSTING! I wish I was there right now beside you, so I can take you away from such nasty parents! MY GOSH! This world, I say again, not everyone deserves to have children. Not everyone has the mentality to.
[sigh]
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2007): Your parents are disgusting people who are enabling your Uncle to abuse you and because you have endured emotional abuse by your parents putting you down, critizing you and robbing you of a sense of self worth...you believe on some level you asked for this or wanted this to happen or created a way for it to occur which is bull crap and pedophiles can spot a victim a mile away...they know who to target.
PLEASE get help immediately. Your local police should have child welfare involved and have counsellors set up to address your immediate concerns and face it; you are in an unsafe environment so foster care is an option here.
Keep telling figures in authority until someone hears you and helps you.
Best Wishes Kiddo.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni feel it as my fault as my family seem to think that plus im stupid enough to have let it happen. i just obviously do not learn from the first time of being sexually assaulted.In may i was raped.This is verified as being by the original poster of the question
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2007): On my. Why in god's name..would you feel that the sexual abuse of you by an Uncle was your fault, hun? Please write back and tell us.
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (25 January 2007):
 You are 16 therefore you can report this to the police as your own person. You do not need to inform your family, although they obviously will find out.
What was the previous incident?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2007): My family think its my faulkt and so do i.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007): that is physically harassment, you should talk to the police and don't ever leave just so you think it will be over. talk to you family first (be wise)don't worry about what they think or tell you just calm down when you explain it,pray that this people will not judge you but to support you and understand you.GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS
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A
female
reader, rammsteinfan  +, writes (23 January 2007):
 I agree with SHANDY POP...you should tell someone before it gets out of hand! If not your parents, tell your teacher, your best friend's mother, a school counselor, and also the police!
Your uncle should be locked up behind bars....he is a sex-offender!! Please report him, you don't need this happening to you!! Good Luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007): Tell the police, your teachers, your parents. Expose him NOW!!!! He should be put behind bars where he deserves. Don't put up with this kind of behaviour! Your parents need to know. Don't be afraid, you have done nothing wrong.
Take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIn may i was raped.
my parents are the hardest people in the world to talk to i dont trust em with my fish let alone anything else.
i told the police last night and my mum this morning see what happens in the next few days. ill keep ya informed.
email me if need be.
XxX
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A
female
reader, SweetSixteen +, writes (23 January 2007):
 at the age 16 that means your parents will have to be informed. try telling your uncle that you're not interested and than if he doesn't back off tell your parents.
i know your afraid of telling them but hiding it or running away ain't gonna help you move foward with your future. i know i dnt completely understand cos i don't know what happened last may, but surely as your parents they shouldn't be that hard to talk to. (if they are and you need help to get through to them mail me)
what your uncle is doing is sexual harrasment and bottling it up and thinking it will stop won't help, giving you advice is all i can do, but your parents can do more.
remember action is the way foward
i'm allways here to help!!
hope i helped SweetSixteen!
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (22 January 2007):
 You diden't say how old you were, but its sexual abuse whatever age you are.
You need to nip this in the b**t right now, other wise it will just continue.
Do as your boyfriend says and tell the police.
Good luck x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2007): Your uncle definitely needs to be punished! If you confront him just so he can leave you alone and that's that, it's not fair to you that he can get away. It doesn't matter whether he is an uncle or not. What he did is inexcusable. Tell your parents, the police, anyone who has authority. Also, remember to keep proof!
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A
female
reader, charley mcfarley +, writes (22 January 2007):
i agree with your boyfriend, tell the police.
you could also ask the police to say that a friend has noticed he has been acting inapropriatley around you and has seen the texts on your phone, this way your uncle does not have to know that it is you who has told the police about your problem. i understand how hard it is and how scared you must feel because i have been in the same sort of situation but telling your parents is a must! either way if you do something about it your parents will have to find out. better that its comeing from you ey, and not too late either. try not to let it cause too much tress it will be sorted out as soon as you can perk up the courage to do something about it
=] xxxx
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (22 January 2007):
 If you make a complaint to the police then your parents will become aware of it. It'll be impossible to keep it from them. Tell your uncle that if he doesn't stop then you're going to tell your parents. Hopefully that will be enough to stop him doing this but if not I recommend telling them. This is sexual abuse and he has no right to be touching you in this way.
CD
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2007): Definitely tell the police, and keep all the texts as proof to back your statements up. Oops, yes, what Notlamc said...
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A
female
reader, Shelley-jade +, writes (22 January 2007):
 This is sexual abuse. Keep any evidence you have. If you have camera phone set it up so you can catch him doing stuff to you and talking to you the more proof you have the better.
This man is wrong once you think you have enough proof turn to the police. This man is wrong and needs to be put away for what he is doing.
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A
male
reader, Abacadaba +, writes (22 January 2007):
 Think of it this way, if he is indeed like that, and you just move away, it might solve your problem, but what if he does it to somebody else? Tell the police. And no matter who you tell your parents will find out, and its best they should know, seeing as they are your parents.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am 16 years old.
will this affect them telling my parents.
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A
male
reader, notlamc  +, writes (22 January 2007):
 I'm not sure how old you are but, regardless, this is sexual abuse.
Tell the police (but, if you are young, they will need to involve your parents).
However, if your family love you, they'll accept what you did was needed.
Keep the texts he sends you - They are proof.
And say NO!
I wish you all the best.
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