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anonymous
writes: I am 22 years old. I have 2 children and a third on the way. I have been with my partner for 7 years and he has left me. What do I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, arieschic +, writes (27 April 2005):
Obvoiusly you are hurt and upset, and probably feeling a bit betrayed and abandoned by you lover, confused, overwhelmed???? am I getting warmer??? The first thing you need to realize is that whatever hurt and confusion you may be feeling right now, your children are probably feeling as well, but they are probably more confused being that they are still young and suddenly daddy's gone. First thing you can do is to make sure that your children know they are loved. If they're old enough to have serious talks with then set them down and talk to them, but whatever you do Dont bad talk their dad in front of them (my mom did that with me when my dad left and it screwed me up for years!!!) Doing the parenting thing alone is definetly going to be harder, identify your support network if any, can your parents or relatives help with childcare? do you have someone who will take the kids while you are working? If not you can look to see if there are any government programs for single parents in your area that will help with day care costs, if you are in the states then check with social services in your state. And also sit down and re budget your money as best you can to make sure your kids will have what they need to grow up healthy and that you will still be ok financially. Its best to save a little too just incase cause unexpected things come up with kids. You can cut corners on shopping too, like buying food in bulk or checking out surplus or discount stores. When you feel like you are going to fall apart look yourself dead in the eyes in the mirror tell yourself you love yourself, take a few deep breaths and relax. if it helps keep a journal. whatever you need to do to keep yourself going. and remember one thing, one day those little angels of yours are going to be all grown up and will make you proud, and when you see them and realise they are who they are because of you ...... In that moment you will realise it has all been worth it!
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reader, mdraces +, writes (25 April 2005):
Girl, OK, pull things together. You do not need the man; you can do it on your own. I do it every day. You have three reason to fight to give them the best life they deserve. But he may not have loyalty to you but he does need to provide for his children and you need to get it court ordered. Everything will work out and just remember you are never alone.
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reader, msmcllstr +, writes (25 April 2005):
I think you need to face up to the fact youre going to be a single mum and let him go. I'm also a single mum of 3 children and since realising I can cope I've done so very well. There are plenty of organisations out there to help you and don't feel you're not coping if you need to ask friends or family for help.Sometimes I still find it hard but I just look at my children and the way I've bought them up single handed and realise I'm actualy doing a great job.
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