A
female
age
36-40,
vanillafrost
writes:I was born in a blue hospital right outside the city. I remember my youth as being very joyfull. I was happy, untill my brother was born. My parent's started to torture and abuse me. I was not allowed to go near my brother or to play with him when he was a baby. Probably because I am a girl. In our family, a boy is worth more than a girl. I never blamed my brother for anything. One day, I was starving and my mother went to buy my favorite food at that time: french fries.. Only to look at my mother and brother eating everything through the little window while I was send upstairs. I'd done nothing wrong. Looking back, My mother just wanted some time alone with my brother she loved. My mother was a very disturbed and sadistic person who loved to torture me mentally. She called me names and was making fun of me the same way as a bully would do to it's classmates!? She would make me cry and suffer. After that, she will ask my young brother video-tape me while I was crying and going insane by her torture. She shook my head so hard I couldn't lift my head anymore while doing home-work. She is an undescribable horrible person. I really wanted a CD but she wantedme to suffer before I can have it. We were eating at the dinner table, I put some salt on my food and returned the salt at not exactly the same spot It was one the table. My mother screamed: Put it on the right spot! But where was the right spot? I didn't get it.. because I didn't know where the right spot is. I really wanted the cd. I NEVER got anything I wanted. Just to bully me. My parent's used to spit on my clothes and throw piss on it. They forced me to use their dirty towels. At 10 pm sharp the lights has to go off. I am not allowed to use to toilet more than 10 mins. To them, I was a total waste of air and space. I was only good to be used for their sadistic ways. I saw they were enjoying it everytime I cried.. grabbing my hair and going nuts when they were bullying me, humiliating me. I cried every Christmas because, I was not allowed to sit at the table. They made up some excuse to bully me so I would cry and get hurt. After this, they will send me away to watch them have fun. After school, they paid ppl to look after me because they didn't want me in their house. When my eyes got bad, I had to wear glasses: another reason for them to bully me. They broke my glasses many times. Then, one night.. my father came to my room and was touching me everywhere! I was terrified.. I dare not to move. It continued and I was disgusted of myself. I became silent... I never spoke. My mother send me to the therapist: It's free. They put me on piano lesson's so they would look good to the outside world. I ignored my dad's sexually abuse and pretend it didn't happen. She bought me a toy with water but, I made the carpet wet by accident! She threw the toy away where I could see it. It really hurt me because I loved that toy. I couldnt concentrate on school anymore. I was a smart child, but because the brain damages my parents were causing I couldn't learn anymore. I was constantly injured and abused in every way possible. One day, my father was having fun slapping and hitting my whole leg untill there was no spot left over for him to abuse. This is when I was transferred to another house by the goverment. I never returned to my parent's hell. They never admitted that they have done anything wrong. I cannot write everything they have done to me. I pushed it out of my memory. They have damaged my brain so much that, I will never be able to have a relationship with someone. I was so beautiful. They stepped on me used me. There is nothing left. I dropped out of school while I know I am a smart person. I can't go to school again because I am too old now. I gave up on life. I don't know what I want. I am damaged and it can't repaired. My parent's were trying to destroy me during me growing process. They succeeded. I am nothing but a memory of who I was.
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female
reader, thelittleone!  +, writes (24 September 2008):
 Hello, I'm really sorry about it! don't be worry everything is gonna be better i don't know ur age but it's never late to go back school .. ur parents are a bad memory in ur mind nothig else but if u still having thi in ur heart is gonna be the reason why u can't be happy .. it's hard to have relationship when somebody hurts u but if u don't try to be better u are gonna be in hole ur whole life ..
don't be afraid to be inlove is good :D maybe sometimes hurt but when its really love it's gonna be forever
maybe these kind of things are really hard to get over it! but u should try to do it!
it's better if u kick out this..
xoxo
little one
A
female
reader, type4help  +, writes (20 September 2008):
 Reading your story, I am in disbelief, i'm sorry about your past,and you are better off with out them. reading it, is like your mother is jelous of you,and they shouldn't be parents!, they don;t deserve children. and as for your dad abusing you, he should be locked up, and the key should be thrown away, their is children like you all over the world but because they are too scared to speak out nothing gets done about it. parents shouldn;t treat children this way, you're meant to have children to love,and to look after, not to beat and toture or abuse. i hope you have gotten over most of the stuff that they have done, and more to the point i hope they were punished!
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