A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hello ,my story with my girlfriend's past is not heading to any an end!! im so jealous over her but i dont know how to get over that. i knew she used to do stuff with her exs and got intimate with them ( no sex just kissing and touching ) but yesterday i just found out that she used to get undressed infront of two of them . and now i cant stop thinking that my gf was seen and touched while she was naked :S and what pisses me off is that i asked her if she ever did that before but she lied to me about iti hate it when she changes her stories, i know she loves me and so do i but im not sure if i will get over her past. i really dont feel good anymore :S i cant even breath when i would think of my gf been naked infront of other guys. please open my eyes by some advicethank you in advance
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male
reader, liu  +, writes (13 April 2013):
Right now you must be thinking is there more to what she has told me. If she could lie to me once, what about the second time? I feel you and I have been lied to about Gf's past. Mine is not as serious as yours though but definitely we share the same pain. My gf lied to me about going to ex house and played board games. In the end it turned out that they both were kissing on sofa and when that dude tried to pull her hand to his groin, she unintentionally touched it and yanked off from his grip. Of cos, the first thing to do is contront her to see if she's hiding more. I kept confronting her, questioning her till a point where we nearly broke up a few times. At the end of the day she claimed that she never had any sexual contact nor sexual experience with any guys. I couldn't do anything but to trust her
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): Hi,
I'll offer my best advice, as I have been in almost this exact situation with my current gf of almost 4 years. She always claimed that nothing even slightly intimate had ever happened with her ex, but I found out later through a mutual friend that she would frequently strip down for him and give him handjobs. Naturally, i was mad that she had lied about it, and it was hard to get my head around the situation for a while. Yes, it's hard to deal with, but you just have to remember, "yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery." Whatever she did in her past is HER past, and it's best for both of you if you just try your hardest to put it out of your mind. I know, easier said than done, but if you truly love this girl, you will be able to get through this. I hope my advice helped you out, good luck with your girl :)
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (30 August 2010):
 Ok...this is a tough one. So she had a life before you and u know what, you cant deny her of that or change it either.you have to understand that she hasn't cheated on you...it was all in the past, when you were not a part of her life. I had a similar problem which I had written about here...I couldnt get over my guy's past, but then, there is nothing that you can do about it. People do a lot more in relationships, and lets face it, nobody gets into a relationship thinking its going to end.Right? Maybe your girlfriend was serious about these guys too at some point of time and hence she was intimate with them....as you say..kissing, touching, undressing...
And of course she would lie about it...Im a girl, and I would never tell my guy if I had done something like this. Why hurt the other person, especially when those actions meant nothing, and she would much rather forget them now. She loves you and you know it, and thats why she is with you now. Please dont make her feel any worse for all this...she's probably already feeling awful...and think rationally...most people your age have been in relationships, and being in a relationship means getting physically intimate. Talk it out out once with her, and then just get it over with. You seem to be a good guy, and i must say that if this girl has saved herself for the right person, when she had the chance to do much more, she must be a really nice girl too. So she kissed a few frogs...but she has her prince now!!
Relax! You can get over this. Stop questioning her...ignorance is bliss...neither can you change what happened, nor can you undo t. Live in the present...Believe me...its not that difficult.
Hope that helps...xoxo
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): Ok...this is a tough one. So she had a life before you and u know what, you cant deny her of that or change it either.you have to understand that she hasn't cheated on you...it was all in the past, when you were not a part of her life. I had a similar problem which I had written about here...I couldnt get over my guy's past, but then, there is nothing that you can do about it. People do a lot more in relationships, and lets face it, nobody gets into a relationship thinking its going to end.Right? Maybe your girlfriend was serious about these guys too at some point of time and hence she was intimate with them....as you say..kissing, touching, undressing...
And of course she would lie about it...Im a girl, and I would never tell my guy if I had done something like this. Why hurt the other person, especially when those actions meant nothing, and she would much rather forget them now. She loves you and you know it, and thats why she is with you now. Please dont make her feel any worse for all this...she's probably already feeling awful...and think rationally...most people your age have been in relationships, and being in a relationship means getting physically intimate. Talk it out out once with her, and then just get it over with. You seem to be a good guy, and i must say that if this girl has saved herself for the right person, when she had the chance to do much more, she must be a really nice girl too. So she kissed a few frogs...but she has her prince now!!
Relax! You can get over this. Stop questioning her...ignorance is bliss...neither can you change what happened, nor can you undo t. Live in the present...Believe me...its not that difficult.
Hope that helps...xoxo
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