A
female
age
41-50,
*hwoesme
writes:My son has to repeat they 8th grade, he has alway's had trouble in school..he does not want to repeat..he feel's like his teacher's think he is stupid and have given up on him and he is giving up..I have limited control because after my divorce I thought it would be best for him to be in a big house with stability and his cousin's are like his brother's. He think's he has ADD.. I dont belive in medication..I believe that he feel's bad about having to repeat school, his situation is different than other children's and I dont know if I should hire (which i dont have alot of money)..a tutor or a child phyciatrist//or both...He doesn't have many option's and I can see him frusterated and it is killing me..he just need's to get through this year and keep's thinking so negatively again...I am getting nervous and my sister and I are very different..
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female
reader, ohwoesme +, writes (22 October 2007):
ohwoesme is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell that's what we are trying to do but it has been difficult, I lost everything in my divorce, I was young and he saw me comming a mile away, salesman, and I had alot, so my son grew up around my sister's kid's alway's but we wher in the family house that is no longer..so my sister's marriage is still togeather and she finished school and is a nurse, her husband has his own business and I thought that it would be best for my son to live there, he did also, but I have alway's since he first started school, had trouble with him with school,,it's hard I had him evaluated a few year's ago and they told me yes, he has ADD not hyperactive, they other one, so, he stayed back in the first grade and was going to stay back in the 7th..but I argued with my sister that he had to go to summer school..I have had very little money with being on my own and it has been extremely difficult..so he went to summer school and got pushed to the 8th grade..didn't matter he didnt pass..so this is his second time around in the 8th grade and his friend's have graduated to highschool and he just need's to get thru this...so I called a councelor that he used to see and am waiting on a call back..I wish I had the money to send him to a private school...I would but my sister is tough and she know's she has they upper hand but only want's it when thing's are good , I love her but, we dont communicate well. I told her Jeff can come live with me..I have a roomate..due to the cost of living..I am almost done with school but cant consentrate because His education is more important than my own..
A
female
reader, ohwoesme +, writes (22 October 2007):
ohwoesme is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I called his councelor today and am making him an appointment...I dont believe in medication either..unless it is something truely serious..medically..or internally...as far as thinking pattern's and being able to pay attention I think it is a matter of self esteem and because of the situation since my divorce..it has been an uphill battle..
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A
male
reader, Sandman +, writes (22 October 2007):
 Well, first of all - he can't self diagnose himself with ADD. And the only way he will get ANY medications for ADD is if he is appropriately evaluated by a psychotherapist who will give him the diagnosis is that's what it is.
I think the best route would be to get him a proper evaluation to find out what's going on with him. It may not be that he has ADD but misses his dad being in the home! But the only way to find out what's really going on with him is to ask the right questions and therapists are good at that.
About repeating the 8th grade. I'm assuming it's because of bad grades. So is it because he doesn't know or understand the material being taught or that he just can't focus long enough to hear the material being taught. Those are two totally different reasons for getting bad grades - one warrants a tutor, the other does not.
Your son definitely needs attention in some way. If he's not wanting to open up to you maybe he can open up to a therapist. Once you find out what's REALLY going on, the help he needs will come. If it's determined he needs a tutor - get him one. If it's determined that he needs medication for an actual diagnosis of ADD - get the meds so he can focus on his school work and not have to repeat the 8th grade a third time! Imagine who embarrasing THAT would be for him.
Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, Aredas  +, writes (22 October 2007):
 Hey. I just wanted to point out to start, that having ADD isnt always awful, if you just have a mild case of it you dont even need medication (I myself have a slight case of ADD, and do not have any medication). I can see why he thinks his teachers are giving up on him, but if he is in a good school, his teachers should never give up on him.
Aredas
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