A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Am v confused and I was hoping u could help out! My bf is 25 and am 23, we've been 2gether 2 years ago then we split up for like 10 month and then we got back 2gether last month!The problem is we both have a different life style, am the decent-shy type and he's the wild-care free type..Am the only decent girl he knows, other girls he knows sry to say but r all bitches! he smokes hash all the time and always gets drunks and sleeps with girls...though he says he doesnt sleep with girls when he's with me, yet he flirts around and this is his life and he likes it and doesnt want to change...I dont want to change him, but I feel that am neglected, he doesnt give me enough attention, and he doesnt meet me with his frnds, I've met a couple of them and to be honest they all said that he's been telling em nice things about me, though I believe he says that am his frnd, not his love or gf!On his facebook account he uploads pics with girls wearing bikini tops hugging him, like he's showing off to his friends "check out am with chicks" and he never uploads any pic of us together! like he's ashamed?!All my best friends dont like him and they say am better off, am good looking, am fashionable and am modest, they say I deserve someone better, someone who'd commit, not a play boy who's probably with me for the sake of showing off to his friends that he could have a decent type of girl as well!Am tryin my best not be negative or nag all the time with him, but it just hurts so bad to feel that he's distant and that he might never commit to me unless he feels totally ready and that it's about time, which am sure is no way soon, cos I know we'r still too young..IF he's too happy with his life, why is he dragging me around with him...?! and when I go to meet my friends, he always has lots of excuses not to show up, like he doesnt want us to be a couple in front of ppl!I thought couples always call each others n care so much for one another and r like totally involved in each others' life...am not tryin to be pushy in that cos I know he needs his own space like I do...but he's v distant...the only way to get his attention is to get him horny!!! that's the only way that he's turns into this loving - caring - sweet heart!I love him and wish he'd change or at least be more caring and get me involved with his friends and family, to make me feel part of his life...to be his couple!I used to nag all the time b4 about him drinkin and smokin but now I dont at all cos I know that would only push him away...but sometimes it's just too hard 4 me to act cool when am not! like when he was showing me his pics with those girls that he uploaded the other day on facebook, I kept sayin hold ur self at least he's shown em to u...he couldve hide em...I don't want to lose him, I'd try anything...I know if I become an important part of his life, he'd commit, if am like there in everything...deep inside me I know I've chosen him and I should accept him the way he is...but I feel we'r splitting around, sometimes I make up things to fight about and sometimes he does...sometmes I feel it will never work out and I better be alone...but I also feel that I should stick around till the end...I gave myself to him emotionally and physically, I can not give my self in to some body else...nor can I be all alone...am sry for being too long but am too confusedit's like I love him too much yet as much as I love him I hate him for all these insecurities am feelin...thnx 4 takin the time 2 read...
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male
reader, dapone 1  +, writes (21 October 2007):
 Dear Anon.the things you have describe are typical of some one who is totally taking you for a long ride, and is no doubt cheating on you, you have given your love to him and he is not worthy of that, the things you have said he has and is doing all point to his disloyalty to you, the other woman you spoke about have all been fooled by him just as you have.I do not know how you can stay with him, he will never love you, you are only there so if someone lets him down at least someone is waiting there for him.sorry to say you are wasting your life with this person, and in a couple of year will regret putting up with this person.if he did love you he would tell the world, and his mates that you are a couple not just his mate, he will not meet your friend because he is afraid they may have seen him with other girls and hes afraid some one will give him away.the pictures you spoke of, the girls in photos he must know then and be close to them or why wood they let him take photos of them self with their arms around them.I am sorry to point these thing out to you but the fact is this guy is bad news for you,it is time you you found some one who is more like yourself, some one who is not going to use you, for your own sake you should leave this guy, and live with some one who loves you back and will put you first in their life.I am afraid your relationship is going no ware,he will drag you down with him in the end, you have ended your relationship with him before, it is time for you to do it again not for his sake, but for your own.
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