A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:At school recently one of my 16-year-old son's teachers phoned up saying she'd seen him go to gambling arcades during lunchbreak, frequently.She's already had to bring him back to school 3 times this week.I got a phone call off her this morning asking me to come in to discuss the matter.I spoke to my son about this but he said "You f***ing idiot! It's my life and I control it! I'll help around the house, but nothing f***ing more!!"I also spoke to a close friend about this who suggested professional help and treatment, is this the best solution??where do I go next??
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female
reader, mum2be +, writes (22 February 2007):
Most definately do not go for professional advice! He does not seem to want to change, and forcing him to wont help. I know this is hard to take but what he is doing is normal teenage behaviour! You need to say something like you dont mind him doing this, just not to do it in school hours. This will help him see that you are on his side and therfore could encourage him to better himself. If he is helping around the house, praise him for it, and encourage him when he is doing positive things.
all the best
xxx
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (21 February 2007):
 He's growing up quickly and is trying to make a statement to you that he's a big boy now! How are things at home? Does he always swear that way or is this a one off? He doesn't seem to have much respect for you swearing at you the way he did. That was totally out of order. You need to be firm here and let him know who's the boss. Tell him that if you get one more phone call from the school about his gambling habits then he'll be taking sandwiches to school and getting no money, if he doesn't like that then tough!
When you're at home with him, try and spend some quality time together. I get the impression things aren't going too well at home either. How long has he been this way? Has anything happened at home recently to send him on this rebellious streak?
Eve
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (21 February 2007):
 I wouldn't go to gamblers anonymous quite yet. I think you have to find his source of income. Research shows that teens who get into drugs, gambling and so forth tend to have more disposable income. If you withdraw any financial allowance and watch your purse then he maybe forced to seek part-time employment and learn about the value of money. His fruit machine playing maybe a phase that will pass, but it may also be something more serious. I am not sure where you live but most countries have gambling laws - you should check out the local rules as you could put pressure on the establishment where he goes to play those machines if they are allowing him to gamble illegally. Try to work with the school on this issue and welcome their attempts to discipline him - if he doesn't attend lessons then he should receive some kind of punishment like detention. If you really are terribly worried about this, seek professional help but try to address the problem at home first. There are many adolescent medical units set up to address addictions of all sorts if you really need support.
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