A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I just feel so alone right now. So tired of seeing happy couples everywhere I go.I feel like all I need right now is a girlfriend who I can share my life with.Sure this reeks of desperation but I can't hide the truth. It seems like allthe tactics I try to battle my social anxiety are failing no matter how hardI try. The medication helps mask the sadness that stems from being alone,but does very little for the anxiety. I'm not sure what to do anymore.People keep saying "You're only 16!", but honestly I don't care about that.I just want someone who wants me back. I want to get farther than not gettinga reply when I text a girl. I want to stop getting rejected on every waking attempt.I want to break this streak of 17 rejections and get a "Yes." for once. I'm so sadI just can't hide it anymore. For me, help isn't coming quick enough. I know what Ineed to do to attract girls, but I just can't force my way into inner peace. I can'tstop myself from panicking inside. I always screw things up at some point and endup having my confidence to do better lowered even more. But this isn't even thewhole of my reason for sadness. I seem to be rejected by society because of myanxiety. I can't fit in where I want to most because I'm accused of being too quiet,or antisocial, or coming off as rude or nervous. I just wish this anxiety would stop.I feel like it's killing me... Like it's really, truly killing me. Killing me slowly from theinside out. Take this as a cry for help because that's truly what this is. I feel a bit worse with my anxiety and lonliness every day. It's ruining my life.
View related questions:
confidence, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Leykis101 +, writes (24 August 2012):
 Hey bro, you need to chill seriously, 16 years old and you seem semi intelligent, so if I give you some advice, and it's not the advice you want, will you be mature and intelligent enough to keep it in mind, and even though it's not what you want to hear, will you maybe consider it, 16 is a fucked up age group, bro, things are not like they are when your 16 forever, they just aren't, everybody progresses past it, your limited, in peers, in opposite sex ratios, in freedoms, you cannot understand what I mean until you actually experience it, but I'm telling you, you need to indulge yourself in something, it seems you have way to much free time, and you don't fill it with a thing, so you naturally long to fill it with something that just isn't ready to happen yet, I was an extremely late bloomer, cause I was the very youngest in my grade, I was physically and emotionally 1 to 2 years behind my peers, and just that put me in a completely different category then the rest of my peers, I to longed for love, but all the girls my age liked older guys, and i had absolutely no game, I suffer bipolar disorder and ADHD, it was horrible, I never had a girlfriend until I was 19 years old, as I matured more shit began to make sense to me, and as I physically matured, I began to notice girls who noticed, I realized that once I put it into perspective I didn't make such a big deal out of it, it wasn't "OH MY GOD I'm TALKING TO THIS GIRL AND I'm TERRIFIED" It was "HEY I'm JUST TALKING TO THIS GIRL WHO IS REALLY CUTE" and I just acted like myself, and guess what? I wasn't being rejected any less, I just forced myself to develop an attitude towards the scenario, that I didn't dwell on girls that didn't like me, and take it personally, I simply kept my eyes open, and if a girl wasn't interested in me, I quickly saw it, and moved on, never, and i mean NEVER!! taking the time to worry about a girl who didn't find me attractive, but moving forward until I found one who did, bro you are a fool to believe that even a quarter of women will find you attractive, that's just not how normal guys work, the trick is keeping your eyes and mind open until you detect a female that does take interest in you,16 and 17 year old girls are so flaky, unsure, they will meet someone they like better then you, and kick you to the curb,in a second, and destroy your hopes and dreams, and my friend, you haven't even began to know what bullshit relationships are at your age, and once you start not being rejected by girls off the bat, your next life lesson will be the girl that you hook up with, and get cheated on by, or dumped by, which opens a whole new can of worms, you need to find a hobby, a past time, something to delve into that you enjoy, that gives you a sense of purpose, because your purpose now is falling on the shoulders of someone else, your convinced you need someone else in order for yourself to be happy, and that my friend is not the case, regardless of how convincing it feels that it is, maybe you should talk with a counselor or psychologist, because you are to young to be hampered by the feelings your feeling, maybe start working out, it is incredible, not only does it make you feel like a million bucks, you also are rewarded by the way it makes you look, which in turn can only improve your outlook on yourself, working out is a win\win situation, I really hope you take me seriously and I know I'm not telling you what you want to hear, but my friend, what you want to hear simply isn't relevant at your age, and your stage in life, what you want will come with time, and forcing it will only worsen your already hard situation, good luck my friend.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (24 August 2012):
 Wow! In my opinion, you are way too young to be thinking that way. Good things will happen for you. Do not be so impatient. Relax and be calm.
...............................
A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (24 August 2012):
There has to be someone like you nearby. Someone who has had similar struggles with social anxiety and despair. If you can find someone who is willing to overlook your quirks because they share them with you then you will make a friend and you can help one another.
Honestly, if you have social anxiety and try to have a girlfriend just to carry on appearances like you are normal...you will be as crushed as I was when my first relationship failed. The relationship needs to be with the right person for you to begin to heal from your social anxiety. The right girl might not even be the first one that says, 'yes.'
...............................
A
male
reader, wiseoldman  +, writes (24 August 2012):
When adults used to tell me when I was 17 (I was short, impossibly skinny, about 2 years behind my classmates socially and much worse, generally more intelligent than they were) "that these are the best years of your life" I wanted to say no. At the same time worrying that they were right and it was somehow going to get worse from then on. Well, it didn't- it wasn't easy but I finally learned through much failure and many mistakes how to relate to 'girls' and it got easier and a lot more fun. However, life still threw the occasional curve at me- still does- but no-one's immune. Just get by as best you can, be brave enough to get hurt (it won't kill you) and because you are trying you will have some successes. Not a lot at first, maybe, but keep pitching. If you can't think of things to say, figure out a few standard interjections so people will think you are a good and sympathetic listener. I promise it does get better.
...............................
|
