A
female
age
36-40,
*u007
writes:Hi everyone.I am in a very confused situation and I need help. Please take time to read and any help would be appreciated.My bf and I are in a relationship for the last 4 years. We both love each other madly and deeply. We want to get married. We have planned our future together.We have had sex many times. But there is one issue because of which we often fight and argue a lot. I have small boobs, use a 32B cup sized bra. My bf is crazy about big boobs and all he wanted in a gf was big boobs. Nothing else matters to him. He has been telling me this for the last 4 years. So whenever we go out or spend time together he has his eyes on girls with boobs and this hurts me a lot. I break up with him for his sake. But when I do so he comes to me telling how much he loves me and can't live without me. Few days later again the boobs issue comes up and we fight. This is like a routine now. Everyday we talk and 75% of his talks are on boobs, hot girls and 25% about us. He doesn't want to leave me but at the same time is not happy with my body and is depressed about the fact how small my boobs are. I am so low on confidence now and is hurt a lot. What am i supposed to do? Thanks in advance.
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boobs, confidence, depressed Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (25 November 2012):
 You're very welcome and thank you for the feedback.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 November 2012):
 Pardon me, but I think that part of the problem is in your selection criteria too. I mean, you chose as a mate , and you want to marry... a man whose conversation consists 75 % in talking about boobs ! Sooo boring. One would think that in 4 years you would have dislodged your jaw yawning ! beside being rude and insensitive to you, well, if it's as you say, you really have not much to talk about together, I would think twice before deciding spending the rest of my life with such a mentally limited person.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (23 November 2012):
Hi dear,
I've got 32B and first of all, that's not small, it's average and I like my boobs. If a guy told me that my boobs are too small for him and was looking at big breasted women all the time, I'd just do what everybody else has already told you: Leave this ass. He doesn't deserve your love. And you deserve much, much better. You already realized this is never going to stop, he does not respect you and has become used to be abusive and mean, manipulating you to get the emotional benefits of a relationship while at the same time belittling you and making you responsible for his frustration. He can't change, he's probably too young and narrowminded.
OMG this makes me so angry. Please leave him.
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A
female
reader, ju007 +, writes (23 November 2012):
ju007 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your replies. I feel better now. I appreciate the effort you people have taken. Thank you again.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2012): A man criticizing the size of a woman's breast is just as bad as a woman criticizing the size of a man's penis. It's hurtful and humiliating since these represent the best of what we have to offer for the satisfaction and enjoyment for those we love. If what we have to offer is not good enough, then what more can we do? In an ideal world we can adjust the sizes of our breasts and penises at will if people we're having sex with require it from us. But if you could do that, why would you? That's what happens when sex is taken outside the context of marriage. A wife doesn't complain about the size of her husband's penis. She finds satisfaction and contentment from her husbands body because she loves him. Only a nasty woman complains and judges a man's sexual performance because their is no love . Only mutual exploitation. Likewise, a sex maniac guy see's no value in any women except in sexual terms, how big or small her assets are, not her value as a human being who will not only offer her body to you for your pleasure but also to bear your children, help raise your family and build your home. Your small breasts are not spoiling your relationship. There's nothing you can do about it. You just made the mistake some young women do. Offering sex for love. To be honest, this relationship to me is toxic to you. You need a real man who will want the entire you and not just parts. You are not special to him because you have small breasts. Obviously the baggage of his past knowledge of other women is truly what is weighing down this relationship. You don't have to carry that by feeling inadequate. If a woman is disappointed with the size of my penis, then all I can say is, 'Honey that's all I have to offer. If you're not content, then go find someone else'
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2012): He needs to think like this: deep feelings/love for YOU physical thingsIf he doesn't, simply tell him that and if he doesn't want to think like a normal not so selfish rude inconsiderate man..Then my dear you need to make an important decision.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (23 November 2012):
Does your family know how shallow, and depraved a person your boyfriend really is? What do they have to say about all this?
He is a man of very low quality. Tacky, predictable and very boring.
My advice is to get rid of him. You'll grieve. You'll miss him, but give yourself time and you will get over him. You'll be a new woman and when you look back you'll wonder what you ever saw in him.
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A
female
reader, loulac  +, writes (23 November 2012):
A guy should love and appreciate every bit of you and make you feel better about the bits you dont particularly like about yourself not make you feel worse and lose confidence! A shallow single minded idiot like that obviously doesn't deserve someone like you. a wise guy once said to me if some thing makes you unhappy change it, and if you can't, change it change the way you look at it!! you need to tell him if he doesnt want to lose you he needs to accept you as you are xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2012): Dump him.Imagine a boyfriend who talked everyday, 100% of the time, about how much he loves your small boobs and your body??Listen, my boobs are also small. My boyfriend has never made one complaint. This lie your boyfriend is telling you, only big boobs matter, is stupid.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2012): There are other young men out there who value the good and honourable virtues of a beautiful, healthy, loving young woman, over 'boobs'.You need to believe in your worth and trust that you are of a gender; a woman, that is put on this Earth to shine and is to be treated as a woman of great value in worth that the world seems to have forgotten.You will age better Ms Petit of Frame and your breasts will remain perkier than younger women of larger breasts.You need to find a young man that understands and values you and your character and worth over your physicality.Your current boyfriend is an absusive man. If he truly wants boobs, he can pay for them and get them for himself.Walk from him.Have patience and faith there are MANY young men out there that will love you for who you are, how you are, and will see that boobs are one of the last things to seek out in a Life Companion.*hugs*
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2012): That's one of the most disgusting things I've heared on this site. You need to dump him, he's a pig that doesn't deserve a girlfriend. Small boobs are nice anyway and many men like them so don't let him take away your confidence. He's depressed over your boobs? He wants to be depressed about his personality!
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A
female
reader, VenusFlowerBasket +, writes (22 November 2012):
I am truly shocked and disgusted by this piece of shit you call your boyfriend. How dare he say these things. Leave him and don't look back, your cannot seriously be thinking of staying in this relationship. I would never stay with a man who said my body made him depressed, are you crazy?
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (22 November 2012):
 You should leave and make sure he can't contact you. He's being a manipulative narrow-minded jerk. They're boobs, they shouldn't be that big of a deal. Who wants to be with someone who spends 75% of their time talking about breast size? Pun intended, he's the boob.
Block his phone number, block him from facebook, block him from email, make sure he can't contact you and just leave. By the way, 32B is the average cup size, it's not small. I have a 32C, which means my band size is smaller but my actual boob size is the same as yours (cup size 32C is equal to 34B is equal to 36A, is equal to 30D, etc...). I've never had a guy ever have anything negative to say about them, ever. I'm sure yours are perfectly nice, just the way they are. Don't let this idiot convince you otherwise.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2012): To be honest with you, your boyfriend sounds like a real jerk. Now that may not be what you want to hear but if he really loved you, he wouldn't mind your small boobs and constantly point it out. And quite honestly, a size 32 B isn't that small. It's more than a lot of girls have! And the fact is, he probably knows that it hurts you when he tells you about his problem with your boobs. This just shows how inconsiderate he really is towards you. There could be other ways to possibly discuss doing something about it such as going a size bigger with plastic surgery but if you've broken up several times over arguing about it, I don;t understand why he would try to go back to it and risk losing you again. The part about him checking out other girls with big boobs, it is true... men will always have wondering eyes, that's just the way they're made. But he wouldn't actually do anything with them if he really cared about you. Also it shouldn't get to the point where it makes you feel insecure. And if your boobs haven't given you issues before you were with him, you shouldn't let it get to you now. He should respect you enough to not constantly nag you about it especially if you've told him you don't feel the same way he does. And if you guys have had sex multiple times, he clearly doesn't mind so much that he wouldn't have sex with you. I'm really sorry you have to go through this because I know that you probably love him. But if he's not willing to accept you the way you are, it's probably time to show him the door. There will be someone else who will like you the way you are and even your "small" boobs. Hope this helped!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2012): Leave him immediately.I found a guy who is crazy about my 32 B's.That is the way it should be.I feel so confident of myself that it doesn't matter when he looks at other women albeit discreetly.At the end of the day,he comes home to me.That is all that matters.My guy doesn't stop raving about my boobs and body.There was another guy who never ever looked at other girls but he couldn't stop staring at my boobs either.Its not about quantity,its about quality.If you don't love your body no one else will.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2012): Wow this is madness. I love small boobs! He should love everything about you if he is in love with you. Each to there own though. In my opinion, small boobs are so much sexier than big boobs! Hope it works out for you x
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