A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:in high school, my sister dated a guy wholoved her very much. Basically he lost hischance forever when she found out shewas gay. Over the years, he had sporadically keptin touch with me, and now he is comingto the area (for a sporting event)and wants to "hang out" with me. Although he is happily married withgrown children, I think he still wantsmore closure on my sister. I said I'dget together, why not. But feel weird about explaining thisto my boyfriend, lest he musunderstand. Any advice? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2019): This is the o.p.!
Thank you, everyone for your helpful
responses!
I did meet with him, and all was ok.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2019): This is the op.Thanks to everyone who respondedso helpfully! I did ask my bf to come but hepreferred to spend time with one of hisbuds. I think he does have closure onmy sister and seems well adjusted andloves his wife. He was very close to our family, wayback in high school days, and me too,and perhaps idealized those times.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 July 2019):
 Tell your BF and INVITE him to go with you.
As for "closure" that this guy wants - you aren't going to be able to give him that. He will have to work that out for himself, like.... SHE prefer(ed) women over men thus their relationship ended. I mean, it's kind of logical that IF someone prefer a partner of their own sex, dating someone of the opposite won't last.
And IF he is your age (late 50's) He'd had at least 35 years so "get closure". I hope for his family that he did found some kind of closure for himself before getting married and having kids, any ways.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2019): I don't see anything wrong. I think is ok to catch up on things. Your boyfriend should understand. Introduce him to your friend. Everything should be ok.
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A
female
reader, KeW  +, writes (13 July 2019):
 Hello OP,
I must ask: why are you meeting with this man?
You’re both presumably 40 or more years past this. What will you or he gain from this?
Your concern about your boyfriend misunderstanding suggests you think it’s not completely innocent.
It is absolutely your decision to meet with this man, but I’m not sure the intent and you don’t seem too sure either. It also seems unlikely that it’s going to benefit anyone 40 or more years after their break up.
Have you spoken to your sister about this? If anything, it’s her who should be meeting him or choosing not to meet him. We’re you friends with this man or was he just your sister’s ex?
I’m not sure why you feel it’s a good idea or beneficial to meet with him. It’s only “weird” to explain if it’s not innocent.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2019): Just tell him what you told us. Be straight forward and open. It’s slightly strange but doesn’t seem nefarious.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2019): Hmm I think if this is as innocent as you try and make out . There would be no problem in explaining . In fact by saying this your saying your bf isn't aware that your sister ex emails .
If you can't say to your bf then you shouldn't go.. it's that simple
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