My sister probably seduced my fiancee, which may have caused him to have a breakdown, he is being treated, he also has an aclohol problem, I love him, I think he loves me, he wants to work this out, should I try to mend the relationship or what? |
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A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My fiance just told me he cheated on me with my older sister. I have been betryed by 2 people I loved and trusted. She wont admit it but he told me the truth. He had a brakdown after that and is in couseling at a hospital right now. He also has a bit of an alcohol dependency and he is getting help for that and going to go to AA when he gets home. He wants me to forgive him and for us to start over he has been speaking to a pastor and wants to go to church and wants us to work it out he is very remorsefull. do I try and forgive him? How it happened was he was at home (not out looking for another women) drunk alone she came over to my house and seduced him she had slept with another girls husband so I know she made the move he was just as at fault I cant forgive her because she wont even admit it I will never speak with her again. we have been together 4 years and he has never done anything remotly close to this before. I am truly in love and I believe he is too.
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female
reader, slh318erw +, writes (12 August 2008):
 Thank you for your answers. Thaey help..
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (12 August 2008):
 Hi,
maybe your sister did make a move on him, but nobody forced him to have sex with her, and certainly nobody forced him to get an erection. So you simply cannot lay all the blame on your sister - that is just not fair.
But that aside, it looks like your husband has turned the whole thing around so it is you who needs to support him not the other way around. By all means care for him while he recovers but he needs to be aware that you were the one who was wronged not him. If he wants to seek guidance from a pastor , fine, but he can do it by himself, what you need is marriage counselling not religious advice . I remember years ago my sister getting advice from our priest that men are men and women seduce them so that's just the way it is - sound advice indeed!
As for your sister, well you may have to avoid her for a while , she obviously can't be trusted.
Good luck, you will need it.
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A
female
reader, superrrshawna +, writes (12 August 2008):
 it seems like it is in your heart to forgive him, so i say go for it. i believe he does love you and you love him and love does overcome all obstacles. it will take time to rebuild the relationship but with hope, faith in each other, trust and support things should get better.
i am really not liking your older sister... might want to avoid her, for sure!
good luck!
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