A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My sister is on her 15th boyfriend since we went back to school in September. She's only 13! and she's getting quite a reputation. I often hear her getting called a slut, even though she says she hasn't had sex with any of themIt took her only two hours to get this boyfriend after she broke up with the last one, and she finished the last one after only two days.I've tried telling her what she's doing is wrong, since she's hurting people in the process, and she too gets hurt when whoever she's dating doesn't tell her they love her after only a few hoursMy parents don't know about any boys after the fourth boyfriend as she was told she wasn't allowed anymore, to prevent her from getting the reputation she now has, so talking to them is not an option, as what they say obviously doesn't matter.I fear that her actions now will come back to haunt her when she is older and wanting a serious relationship, but I don't know how to convince her of that.Should I stay out of it since this may just be a phase where she's exploring dating, and tell people to shut up when they gossip about her, or should I talk to her about it?
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (16 January 2011):
 No offense OP, but some teens have that mentality that they're right you're wrong..They hear what they what to hear and that they know it all.
So you trying to intervene or give her a talking to won't do her any good. She's not going to listen. Even though she is your sister, you love her, and want to protect her. You're going to have to stand aside and let her make those mistakes. People will talk about her, you're not going to be able to stop that, she's making a reputation for herself.
One day she will wake up realize that she was acting like a tart. But that day isn't anytime soon.
A
male
reader, Hunterp25 +, writes (16 January 2011):
I think that you should start talking with your sister about how serious relationships can get, and that she should not get together with someone that she does not believe they will last very long.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2011): She knows, and she doesn't care. She says she hasn't had sex, so what they say doesn't affect her. And I've tried telling her that things will get worse if she doesn't slow down a little, but she didn't listen.
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A
female
reader, AuntyMaur  +, writes (16 January 2011):
 I could be wrong but!
I think your sister is having some form of sexual interaction with these boys.
The term for this is Promiscuous sexual behaviour.
I also think she is confusing sexual attention for love or being liked by the boys - Having multiple partners maybe making her feel good short term but the long term effects is not good especially when it comes to having a solid fulfilling relaitonship in the future.
I would also be concerned about sexual transmitted diseases. How to handle this is tricky.
She needs to see a councillor to find the underlying issue that is causing her to be promiscous. How do you get her there.You could sit her down and tell her your concerns but depending on her reaction you may end up loosing her but that is alreaady happeninng. Its difficult to watch a family member destroy themselves wether its through drugs, alcohol,eating disorders or promiscousity. Your sister needs some one qualified to help so I belive its time your parents got involved.
Your are too young to handle this alone.
Until a person admits to the problem often there is nothing you can do.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (15 January 2011):
When I was 13 I ignored every piece of sound advice people gave me. You can try, but I doubt you'll succeed. At that age, she feels she's got the whole world figured out.
If you do tell her, be curt about it. Short, easily digestible comments stay in memory opposed to those long drawn out conversations.
But really, she probably needs to fall on her face first before she figures it out.
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