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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: my sister is schizophrenic, in the last two months she has relapsed, she wont talk to me or family. It is hard explaining this to outsiders, but it feels like she is not here anymore (the way she was).You watch soaps, and in soaps where people go away and come back again.There is that build up you feel happy like they are with you, then they leave (emotionally) againI miss my sister, she was my best friend, in some way still is.but she isn't herself and i miss her, so much. i want to talk to her, tell her about whats happened recently, about my new partner, how much i love her that i will always be here.but she does not want to know me.it is very hard. i understand it is normal to relapse, but it still is hard. anyone else in this situation? I get scared she won't come back, I frighten that she won't return.appreciate outside opinions.
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female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx  +, writes (8 February 2013):
 Scizophrenia is a mental illness that really consumes peoples lives.
And by people, I don't just mean the person who it is effecting, I mean the people around that person aswell.
With Scizophrenia it has the ability to change someones personality competely while as many other mental illnesses can only alter someones personality slightly.
I have an anxiety disorder, and even though it can sometimes cause me to do silly things I am still here and I am still me, with scizophrnia, it takes away the person completely for a certain peroid of time.
So I can imagine how it must feel, but don't lose hope, like all mental illnesses it can be managed, and helped.
It sounds however like you are carrying alot on your shoulders at the moment maybe having a chat with a trusted friend or other family members will help you, i'm sure your not the only person in your family who feels like this so don't think you are on your own.
You may even bennifit from some counselling yourself it could help you to get all of this off your chest and releaize you are not alone.
Good Luck xx
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (7 February 2013):
 Your sister has the most difficult of all mental illnesses… and while It can be controlled if they take the proper medication most schizophrenics have a hard time coping with every day life…
Schizophrenia comes on in the 20s usually… so it’s not like she hid it before…
And she will NEVER be the sister she was before the schizophrenia emerged. That is just not a viable option.
Soaps are not real life… movies are not real life… even movies based on real life are not accurate… do not think your life can be like the soaps or the movies… that’s a sure way to be disappointed…
She is not doing this to you… it’s not her choice… it’s her illness and sadly it will color her life for the rest of her life….
I think some counseling for you alone to help you learn to cope with this illness which while hers will affect the whole family is a good idea.
I’m sorry for your pain and your loss…
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (7 February 2013):
 I had a relative with schizophrenia. It is hard to cope with and you're doing great. It is completely normal for you to sometimes feel upset. Your sister has a mental health team, but what about you? You need to get yourself into therapy because coping with this is HARD. You can't just stay strong the entire time, you need to have help getting through it. It's very normal for families coping with mental illness to get themselves help.
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (7 February 2013):
 Hi, I am not sure which country you are (Accurate Flags, when posting a question, help people give you better advice) however when I read your question it took me back to when my first husband's illness first became evident to me. It's not all that long ago and yet I can recall that no one told me much at all. It was a confusing and frightening time. Often I was playing it by ear, If I had known then what I know now I think I would have been more effective back then.What I have learned is to do the following:1. The illness and the symptoms that manifest are things that the person who is ill has no control over. what occurs is not intentional and the Illness is not their fault and in fact is no one's fault.2. It takes a huge amount of Bravery and Courage to cope with the illness and the person suffering schizophrenia faces terrifying hurdles - often faced with stoic acceptance and courage by the person suffering this illness.3. Dump any vestige of ego when you support a person with schizophrenia. They do not mean to be uncommunicative, and in fact at times they may be able to see your moving your lips and yet what you say does not even register as what they are facing consumes them. Never think of them as rude when this happens. Instead recognize that they are ill. 4. When they at their most ill never expect any form of gratitude or thanks. Their illness takes over everything. often they are so depressed they do not even think they deserve help.5. Encourage them with supportive remarks that are true.6. They cannot "snap out of it" and "pulling up their sox" will not make the serious illness of schizophrenia go away7. Depression is often present and must be treated as very serious. Get urgent support from the Doctor when Depression presents. So do make sure that you understand the signs that your relative may be depressed and get them to the Doctor as soon as possible.I am sure there are many other things that I should have remembered but I think this list is a good start. I am sure that others will come up with other good resources. When things are explained fully I think it makes things so much easier and you can then support your family member and know that you are doing the right thing.Even now there are times when I am sure that family are left rudderless to try to make sense of what is the right or wrong thing to do or to say.Although the following is written for England (and that may not be your country) the princples of this illness and how it manifests and the best ways to treat it are valid, where ever you live.It is just that the support will be the factor that will change in different countries.On reading this .pdf on schizophrenia (although written for professionals) I marvelled at the detail and the possiblities this publication revealed. I wish I had known all these things when I was in my early twenties.Here it is:http://www.nice.org.uk/nicemedia/pdf/CG82FullGuideline.pdfOne important thing I would suggest is that you also make time for just you. Maintain some life balance in your life. Never feel guilty about this. Because your health is very important. If you do not look after your health then how can you support your relative?Then there is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. (CBT) This really does work. Trained Cognitive Beahvioural Counsellors can help work through the issues with a client and help then to see more options and deal with troubling issues.Here are some links on CBT:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapyhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindfulness-based_cognitive_therapyhttp://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/freedownloads2.htmAnother issue to give you more hope is to google how many successful people have schizophrenia and then go on to to achieve good things in their lives.Old fashioned psychiatrists are becoming the exception now. More enlightened medical and nursing specialists today have already realized that today much can be achieved and introduced to bring a far better quallity of life to people diagnosed with schizophrenia. And new research is continuing all the time to find out more about this illness. For instance Dr Kenneth Hugdahl at the University of Bergen has been a part of some ground-breaking experimental research into discovering more about one aspect of schizophrenia, namely when the sufferer of the illness hears voices and how to better withstand the voices being heard. This research is still very experimental. But demonstrates that you should never give up hope that this illness will one day be better understood.Here are some of the details of this researcher:Dr Kenneth HugdahlUniversity of BergenTitle: ProfessorAddressUniversity of BergenP.O.Box 78005020 Bergen"By analyzing many studies together, biological psychologist Kenneth Hugdahl of the University of Bergen in Norway found the simultaneous over-stimulation and dampening of brain signals to be two sides of the same coin. The findings help explain why schizophrenia patients retreat into a hallucinatory world. Now, Hugdahl wants to use this knowledge to help patients reverse that tendency.Funded by a prestigious 20 million Norweigen Kroner ($3.5 million) European Research Council Advanced Grant, the researchers are now conducting brain scans with a tool called magnetic resonance spectroscopy, which will allow them to measure levels of GABA and glutamate in various brain regions in schizophrenia patients.If the finding holds, it could open doors to new drug treatments for schizophrenia symptoms, Hugdahl said. In the meantime, he and his colleagues are trying something outside of the realm of pharmacology. They want to train patients to ignore internal voices and listen to words from the real world."Please do take care, especially of YOU. I wish you and your family well in the future.
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