A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I was crazy about this guy a few months ago- like the very smell of him caused me pain' kind of crazy. We would flirt and heavily make out drunkenly/passionalty at parties, and hang out on a weekly basis, but always with a third wheeler friend to keep things less awkward. I thought the fact he came over to my house so often on a weekly basis meant he was interested in me, and it always gave me hope, but he never asked me out. I ended up being brave and asking him, and he made these lame excuses about me being too good for him, which I didn't believe one bit at the time, (i had always considered him out of my league) but now think the little sh** may have been right. He's hurt me greatly this past year, examples including: making out with my best friend at a party in a bed WHILE I WAS SLEEPING RIGHT NEXT TO THEM (ultimate betrayal from said best friend), having near sex with me on a doorstep then two nights later bumping into me while holding the hand of a scantily-clad girl and basically burning me, another time making me cry when i asked him to come clean and admit scantily-clad girl was effectively now his gf and to stop flirting with me/holding my hand because it made me feel like worthless sh** (he still wont admit he's seeing her although they spend many nights at each others houses and its as obvious as hell, he's pathetic for not admitting they're in a relationship just because he fancies himself some sort of ''lone-wolf'') , another time telling me half-jokingly to my face after spending 3 nights at my house alone together that i, in fact, have no personality (possibly the greatest insult I've ever received seeing, as we've spent SO much time together, and I'd been nothing but hospitable/lovely to him, especially that weekend. He'd even sleep with me in my bed, but we'd only ever sort of cuddle, we never slept together, i am a virgin and would only ever sleep with someone i was dating) i had up until that point at least considered us to be fairly good friends, but him saying that soured things greatly, as it was the point it finally hit home that he had zero respect for me, and that I needed to have respect for myself and stop letting this loser toy with my emotions and play me like a friggen fiddle.However, altho I'm much snappier with him these days and don't let him get away with most things anymore, he still hangs around, appears at my house etc I can't just cut him out because our circles of friends are one and the same now, so he's always hanging around the same people as me, and he's so oblivious/self-abosrbed in general he never quite grasps/likes to admit how he's ever upset me, or why it's wrong to STILL obviously flirt with me or try to understand why it makes me feel like shit about myself. I still get feelings for him, altho I know I shouldn't, and that in the end he was not the witty/charming decent person I'd thought he was - his bad qualities far outweighed his positive. What I can't understand is why, WHY does he continue to stay so involved with me when he clearly has no respect for me/basically has decided I have no personality. Or WHY I let him still get under my skin- like let his arm linger around my shoulder too lon... Will I ever stop being attracted to this self-absorbed mess?
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female
reader, love-struckxo  +, writes (9 July 2009):
 Kick him to the curb already, or you'll end up regretting wasting all of this time you've spent holding on to him while you could of been with somebody else.
He sounds like a loser - so call it a day and leave it at that. Who cares what he thinks of you? Just remember that he will treat the next girl the same way he treated you, and he will until he grows up a little. Unfortunatley some of them never do.
Tomorrow the sun will still shine, and the world won't stop turning.
Do yourself a favor and end this already.
God bless
xx
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