A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am 14 years old and so many of my friends have boyfriends, and I haven't had one before. No guys seem to be interested in me, they just pass over me and look at my friend who has a nice face and dd cups. I hate my nose, it's sorta big, and I think that's why guys don't like me. I have had a guy friend call me ugly and flat chest multiple times, even though I am a b to c cup. It's really hurting my self esteem, especially because this guy is normally a good friend of mine. It especially hurts because he was texting my best friend and saying that she was good looking and had a nice body, so I know he's not embarrassed to say what he thinks.One time we were all sitting at a table, and he says "everyone at this table is hot except Jared and Ashley (me)" right in from of me and Jared (fake name) is a guy that he has no respect for and hates. I feel bad that he puts me in this category with someone who he hates. My best friend said "that's mean" but that was all the defence I got, as if everybody was thinking "that's true..." I just feel so bad, all of my friends have boyfriends except me and I feel so ugly and unwanted, when all I want is for people to see more than my looks and to see my personality. I'm really lonely... please help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): firstly... your only 14 its fine not to have a bf! you dont need one enjoy being single while you can! dont be easy and desperate like so many girls are these days
when i was 14 i would constantly turn down guys because i knew all of them were just stupid guys that didnt deserve me that just wanted to get into me ha well i went out with some but didnt you know say yes to being their gf or any high commital stuff but then when i turned 16 i met this amazing guy and said yes and weve been together ever since im nearly 18 now and now all my friends who had bfs before are the messed up ones who had been cheated on before and are off boys now and not in relationships while i am in a perfect one with a perfect guy :D
secondly that guy who said those things to you and about you in front of everyone is a complete stupid insensitive probably insecure and attention seeking ... and i cant even think of any good enough insults to describe him but he definitely doesnt deserve to be your friend anymore and i think you should have nothing more to do with him.
and also b-c cup isnt flat chested. a cup isnt flat chested. aa cup isnt flat chested!
flat chested- as in no boobs at all- is flat chested.
and even if you were flat chested which you obviously arent- being a b-c cup he has no right to say that to you and saying that is just a seriously stupid cruel sad thing to say and he has serious problems and will probably end up getting beaten up, dumped by gfs and friends... rejected by life in general- with that attitude.
dont listen to him.
the friends that didnt stand up for you are sad too.
but dont let them get you down.
your still young.
youll find new good friends.
you are beautiful. everyone is (except for completely disfigured people which im sure you arent) if they just believe- it sounds silly and cliche but its true.
an 'average' person smiling is heaps better looking than a 'good-looking' person frowning and looking like they think they are ugly.
:D
A
female
reader, toxicgirl21  +, writes (15 April 2009):
i know how u feel, but i'm 16 almost 17 and i have nevr had a bf ether. i know it sucks and i rely want 1 so bad. all my freinds have 1 and r always trying 2 get me 1 but noguy sems 2 want 2 go out withme and idk y?
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female
reader, vickie whyte  +, writes (6 November 2008):
 Dont listen to any of them. if anything they are probably gelouse so ignore them i no thats easier than it sounds i have been there. The fact that your friend didnt really defend you was wrong and i would ask myself is she even as good a friend as you once thought.
Also i cant explain why you havnt had a boyfriend no one can, but to be hounest boys arnt all there cracked up to be. just when you do get a bf dont just give him everything just because hes your first.
good luck! remeber love lives are complicated and so are friends...
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female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (22 October 2008):
it could be that he has a crush on you. i've come across guys like this before, they don't have a clue how to express their feelings, so they just turn into jerks. like i said before, just bring him down a peg or 2.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guys. yeah, today, we were having a discussion, and this guys girlfriend said that she was a b cup. so he is insulting me even though im the smae size as his girlfriend which is kinda pathetic. thx for the help, if he says it again, i am gonna stand up for myself.
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female
reader, Confused_123 +, writes (20 October 2008):
I agree with Aunty Rach in parts.
Yes, this guy sounds like a complete asshole and i am amazed that you still refer to him as a friend. If he ever says anything like that to you again tell him to f*** off and stop talking him.
I understand how you might feel if all your mates have a boyfriends and even when adults tell you there's no rush, there is so much pressure to get a boyfriend. I should know, I'm also 14. My advice would be to just relax and try being friends with more guys (better people than that shallow idiot you mentioned) Sometimes it's important to be friends with more guys and get along with them. You won't be single forever and a C to B cup isn't flat chested! I'm a 32A, now that is what you call flat(no offence to anyone else who is that sze hehe). Boobs aren't everything and neither are looks. If you are a nice person who cares about others feelings and can TALK to boys then someone is bound to like you in that special way eventually. Trust me. the minute i stopped thinking about it, guys started to notice me more.
Well anyway. I'm rambling now. Hope this helped!
=D Xx
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (20 October 2008):
 You're only 14, some of these guys are still maturing emotionally. Your best friend sounds like a jerk. You could say something like, "Yeah, and who are you? Gael Garcia Bernal?"
If you want to be noticed it helps to get involved in things, because at this age it's important to have a sense of identity and discover who you are... and, if you get involved with extra-curriculars, you are more likely to get noticed because you will be with guys who have the same interests as you. Hopefully they will be nicer than your friend...
Are you interested in: Drama, for example? Horses? (I think you're old enough for a part-time job at a stable)
Music? Youth Group? Soccer?
You should try to take martial arts classes (NO, NOT so you can beat up your friend. Don't do that) because that helped me. I was fat, and depressed (I'm not saying you're fat) but I started taking karate and it changed my character and I stopped feeling badly. You should try it.
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female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (20 October 2008):
whoa whoa whoa!
for a start you are only 14! trust me boyfriends at that age are usually all immature and you end up just wishing you were haning with your friends rather then the bf. As for your friend he sounds like a right asshole! you need to say something to him, seriously if he is saying all that to you then he is no true friend! if he carries on after you have talked to him then just tell him he is fugly and should not come out in daylight! see how he likes it. for a start he is probably average looking anyway, obviously just full of himself. so you need to bring him down a peg or too, embarrase him in front of his and your friends next time. he won't be so cool then.
as for worrying about your body and your friends body, it is probably just because at 14 you are just starting out in the world of puberty, you won't fully develope untill you are late teens. who cares if she has bigger boobs then you! you probably have nicer legs or nicer eyes, everyone has their good points. you just have to learn and realise which ones are yours and then use them to make yourself feel confident. just enjoy being young, don't worry about boyfriends yet..at 14 you are noway ready for a serious relationship anyway. but the main problem is your so called friend, you need to put him right!
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