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female
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*zzie
writes: I wonder if anyone can advise me? I am in a relationship with an Asian man (25), although he grew up in scotland. we have been together for a year. He says he cannot tell his femily about me as I am not Asian or have the right social background. His parents were very abusive towards him and his 6 siblings and he is not close to any family member, but he does occasionally visit his nephew and neices. I feel very upset everytime this happens as I do not want to feel like I do not exist. Even if they did not want to know me, I want my feelings to be more important than their predudices. Am i being unreasonable? Any ideas? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Izzie +, writes (9 January 2006):
Izzie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice guys, I appreciate it. Will try to be more relaxed and understanding of his motives, I know he loves me to bits x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2006):
You are not being unreasonable, it is understandable that you want to be a part of his life, properly. However, I am asian too, and I can understand how your husband feels. I have always had to keep my reltionships secret for fear of my family. It really is more serious than you may realise. My sister was caught with a man and was sent to Asia to get an arranged marriage, because of this. I suggest that you talk to your boyfriend, and if he really loves you, he will be prepared to move away with you, somewhere far away from his family and have no contact with them. Believe me, his parents will not be understanding of your relationship.
I hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2006): Its the same with my boyf...at first i thought he was embarased of me etc...but didnt realise the consequences of when they did find out...they are best not knowing if they feel that strongly about their son having a different race gf.
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