A
female
age
30-35,
*KR29
writes:What the hell is wrong with me?I'm smart and pretty and I have confidence but when it comes to men i have some bad habits and I have no idea why. I crave male attention in an unhealthy way. I'm not slutty at all but I like to be noticed by men and I like to have a few on the go, although half of them i don't even like that much. I go for older men because I find guys my own age immature and unattractive. (i'm 19)Even if I go on a date with someone and work out i'm not interested and want nothing from them, if they are not interested it would really upset me. why?Why do I care so much about what they think?? Why do I crave their attention? And how do I get over it?I've only had one relationship and for the most part it was awful!!Thanks
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female
reader, HKR29 +, writes (2 June 2011):
HKR29 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your reply!
I used to be quite quiet and not that pretty (a bit of a tom boy) when I was younger so I never really had the attention, but recently no one has turned me down. I like being accepted by men, but if they were to ever reject me it would kill me inside. - thats what I hate, why do I care so much?
And yes my relationships are shallow, I have never been in a relationship where I felt loved for me.
I don't understand some of the things I do.
Thanks x
A
female
reader, lorinda  +, writes (2 June 2011):
You go for the older men you say, because guys your age are immature. Guys your age (19) that are giving you the attention you want, are probably just trying to get laid and don't care if you know what their intentions are. Not to say that the older men aren't trying to get laid as well...but I imagine that a pretty young girl on their arm feeds their ego quite a bit...and so they might be willing to give you more attention - or work a little harder than the younger boys, to get a date with you. It sounds to me like you need your own ego fed, again and again. You need to hear that you are pretty, but not only that...you only believe it if it is reinforced with the attention of men. It's not the men that you want ... it is the feeling you get from them wanting you. The idea of "I can make all the men want me" is where you thrive. Be careful though, because these men do have feelings, and just because you are not interested in any thing further with them ...does not mean that they are not hoping for something more than that with you. I'm just curious...Have you ever tried to get a man to notice you or ..pay attention...or to want you and had it not work? Has any man ever said like " give it up honey...you are not my type? What would happen to you if this happened?Seems to me like you need to not put so much of your value and worth in the hands of men Have fun, you are young, but inevitably the attention from one man you can actually build something with might be nice. These relationships seem a little shallow, am I lyin?
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