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female
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*onwe
writes: im 18 and had many boyfriends but my relationships only seem to last a few weeks at most. i met a really nice lad and we spent a whole weekend together but out of the blue he dumped me over a text. what can i do to improve my love life?
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female
reader, mystify +, writes (7 January 2006):
 i would just like to add to your comments from a differant view point i dont want to dissmiss anyones comments as everyones advice is helpful but i would like to share with ronwe and anyone else having this problem that in my experience it is the men who tend to get attached quickly and fall in "love" i have watched this happen over and over again to both me my friends and aquaintences...
they meet a guy and within days or weeks the guy would be clingy...
not all young men fall into a category of just being out for sex in fact i would keep an open mind when meeting someone, men , women , we are all individuals and there is no rule book on how to "bag" someone, if you feel that you want to change to improve chances of 'keeping a guy' take a step back and suss out what type of guy they are first
A
female
reader, StarNews +, writes (7 January 2006):
 You never really know the person in the beginning. Try starting as friends and getting to know the guy. Really listen to what they are saying and observe them. Also, listen to what others are saying who know them well, like family and close friends. They are their best judge of character. Get to know their friends, as they are a reflection of them. Don't excuse away little white lies or disrespectful behavior. One rule I go by, is that I see how they treat their mom, thats a good clue how they are going to treat you.
You are not to blame for these men who have been flakey in your life, you have to consider the source. Take your time and if this person is the one, he will meet all your expectations.
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (7 January 2006):
 I can think of two actions that can ruin relationships quick-smart. Try to avoid:
1. Rushing things. Romantic comedies aside, nobody really falls in love and starts talking about getting married in a weekend. However, I know that a lot of young women start doing this very thing. They meet a nice lad and -whammo!- before you know it, they're trying to pick baby names and deciding what breed of dog goes best with the split-level ranch home in the suburbs.
Young men are really out to have fun (by which I mean "sex-if-they-can-get-it"). Bear that in mind, especially in the early dates.
Also avoid:
2. Negativity or passivity. Saying "Oh, I don't care. Whatever you want" can be really irritating to guys and can be read as a lack of interest. It makes people feel like they have to try too hard to be "entertaining" all the time and is quite exhausting. Be sure to pull your weight when you go out with someone. Initiate conversations, make your own choices, help plan things and so on.
A last thought. Are you in contact with any of your exes? If you're still on friendly terms, consider asking for a 25-words-or-less summary. I know how awful that sounds, and it would certainly hurt a bit to hear your faults, but it really cuts to the meat of the matter and eliminates the uncertainty. However, it's recommended only if you have a healthy ego! ;-)
Hope this is some help.
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A
female
reader, mystify +, writes (6 January 2006):
this happened to me too a couple of years ago and i was really insulted when my friends started telling me that i must be doing something wrong , that i there must be something wrong with me or the way i am when i start a relationship...
they told me to keep a guy i must do this and do that , and not do the other!
i knew i wasnt doing anything wrong in fact when i looked back i realised i was doing half of the dumping or initating the "maybe this aint working" conversation.
what i am trying to say is that you kiss alot of frogs before finding your prince and in those first couple of weeks you are both sussing out the other deciding if its worth commiting, sometimes you will decide its wrong sometimes they will sometimes you both will...
if you are being true to yourself you are not doing anything wrong because when you meet the right person they have to love you for who you are not who you are told to be.
in the meantime try and enjoy dating , your only young and you have plenty of time left to find your prince charming! :0)
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A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (6 January 2006):
 Right,you say your relationships are only lasting a few weeks,is it because they want to sleep with you and you ablige because you want to please them and once they have got what they wanted,they fly off.I think it could be two things that are going wrong here.1st, the fellas your dating are just totally unsuitable for you in the sense that they have nothing in common,or they are only interested in sex and once they have got it,they lose interest.These guys you can do without.When you meet another man again try and take it slow,get to know him 1st,dont fall into the trap of sleeping with him straight away,let him wine and dine you,let him get to know you as a person,then as it goes on and you both start to have strong feelings for each other then you can take the next step.See if you give all of yourself in one sitting then what is left after that? Im sure you are a lovely attractive person and you deserve to be treated with respect.Good luck.
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